They Would Not Have Been Merry Maids

It has been a week of firsts for the Malathionman.

I have lived at the current house for about four years. I have never been able to park a car in the garage. Between boxes of unpacked stuff, garage sale stuff, Christmas stuff, Halloween stuff, new bikes, old bikes, exercise bike, paint, tile, and just a bunch shit we will never ever use again but just don’t want let it go, the car has never made in the garage. Well the car finally did it. It got to spend the night in the garage. I got a little more organized and made some things mysteriously disappear. Actually it’s not a mystery until somebody knows it’s missing.

Next “first” is that I won my first auction on eBay! It was very exciting. I purchased a laptop for $365.00. That was $110.00 less than the “buy now” price that the computer shop was asking for. I had a price in mind and I stuck to it. I had to enter about 7 auctions before I got the price that I wanted. $365.00 was the lowest price I saw the computer go for until I finally won with a whopping $365.01 bid. Lots of fun; I will definitely try it again.

Lastly, I had my Micro League friends over yesterday for our annual draft. An event that used to be a bunch of single guys belching and farting and scratching themselves while they select players for the next year, has turned into a family “party” event with wives and kids that hang around us guys while we belch and fart and scratch ourselves while picking players for the next year. The draft at my house seems to have become a tradition. I don’t mind at all; I enjoy it. However, it is a lot of work for Sherri and me.

This year we did something different. We hired someone to clean the house, not just someone, but an actual cleaning service. In 22 years of marriage, I have never had the house professionally cleaned. Wow, what a difference. We might do it monthly now.

So here is a funny or gross story about the whole “cleaners experience”.

Sherri arranged for the cleaners to start early in the morning. I was at work. I have to work every other weekend, but only until 9am. When I got home the cleaners were still there working hard. The first thing I usually do when I get home is make a trip to the throne room. A couple of diet cokes and a breakfast burrito at 5am usually come calling around 930am. Well, the cleaners were still working, in both bathrooms! There is no way I’m going to stink up one of those bathrooms and then have them go back to work. They would then be entitled to hazard pay. So I went to the near by Jack in the Box and used the public toilet instead. I know; pathetic.