Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Death of Malathionman

In the movie “Bleak Future”, Malathionman meets his demise in a gruesome manner. If you have watched the trailer posted in the sidebar of this site, I get in a fight with the dude in the kilt. Kilt dude is mute because I cut out his tongue, so he doesn’t like me very much. I was pretty much kicking his butt, but then I got cocky and taunted him with his tongue that I had been carrying around in a jar for God knows how long. As I began to eat his tongue, I choked on it (Which is kind of funny because I actually did choke on it while filming that shot, and it tasted nasty!) and Kilt dude is able puncture my malathion tanks, giving me a bath in my own malathion juice, causing me told melt before a horrified audience.

Wear Gloves and Protective Eyewear will not meet such a slimy ending. I am just quietly shutting it down and putting away the Malathionman mask for good.

When I started a blog on MSN Spaces a couple of years ago it was just supposed to be a way to keep in touch my fantasy baseball buddies. I needed a screen name and I had all this Malathionman stuff so I thought it would be fun to use it in the blog. And it was, but the blog that I had created for my baseball buddies had became the blog for the friends I had made on-line.

As I got more interested in blogging I moved from MSN Spaces to Blogger, and started Wear Gloves and Protective Eyewear. I like this blog, but I have had this feeling for a while now that it had no real identity, other than the Malathionman, a character that most people don’t get unless they take the time to get to know me. As open and as honest as I am on my blog, I think it is hard to get past that scary looking dude in the comment section.

In case you were wondering, I am not quitting blogging. In fact, I’m going to try and step up my blogging game, but not as Malathionman. The new site will be similar to this one and the mask will be gone. I noticed that one of my friends had me listed as a daddy blogger. A couple of years ago I might have shunned that label, but I have realized that I am a better writer when I’m writing about my kids, so why fight it I’m a daddy blogger.

So, I have a web host and a domain and will be opening my new site soon. I will be going from a Blogger page to a Wordpress page. I probably should have used a free Wordpress theme to start, but I bought one that I liked and I am still trying to figure out how to customize the page. I have very little ‘code” experience. I’m sure I’ll figure it out and have things up and running soon.

I am going to leave this email for those of you who want to know my new address. Although I don’t think I said anything too crazy here; it has come to my attention that some people read this blog that I didn’t know about. And no, Jackie isn't one of them! So I would like to start the new site with more of a clean slate. I will continue to visit the sites that I usually visit and I’m sure you will figure out who I am.

Until then, you may want to try this new blog out. She is a much better writer than I am, but very new to the blogging world. Stop by and say hello.

P.S. We have a date and Sarah is coming home. I'll share details on the new site. Or you can check out the new blog linked above. :)

Monday, November 10, 2008

Thanks Dad

Do you have a stepparent, blood relative, or in-law that drives you and the rest of the family nuts?

I do, it is my stepmother, Jackie.

For years she would complain behind my father’s back, to his family, about what a jerk he was. When she tried to gripe to me about him I let her have it, “ You are preaching to the choir lady. I grew up with him. I know what he can be like. You should be having this conversation with him, not his son.”

Here is another example of Jackie’s lack of common sense.

Over the last couple of years it has become obvious to my wife and I that Jackie doesn’t care for my youngest, Alissa. But she adores my son Austin. Today she invited him to go fishing and spend the night at her house, without Alissa. Later, Alissa asked me why grandma Jackie likes Austin better than her. Nice going grandma.

After my father passed away, my sister threatened to kick her ass if she ever saw her again. I didn’t believe my stepmother when she told me that, but then she showed me the letter that my sister had sent.

My family makes great blogging material.

Not long before my father’s death he asked me to do one thing for him. I don’t know how I knew what he was going to say, but I did, and thought to myself, “Please don’t ask me, please don’t ask me,” but then he did, “Please take care of Jackie when I’m gone.” Heavy sigh, “Sure dad, I’ll do that for you.” “Thanks Tommy, I didn’t think I could ask your sister to do that.”

If he only knew, if he only knew.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

I Put My Pants On Today

I know this may sound weird, but it has been 6 months since I have worn a pair of pants.

Today was opening day at the golf course that I work at. Pants are required from opening day until Easter, after that we can wear shorts.

It always feels strange when I start wearing them again.

I just thought I would share.

Let the rude comments begin

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The 6th Letter of the Alphabet List

Peas and carrots, peanut butter and chocolate, Malathionman and Death Chick, some things just go together. D.C. is a great blogger and when you die she would be glad do your make up before they display your corpse to curious friends and family.

Sometimes the Death Chick gets a little excited abouts things and rants a bit. She accidentally (yeah right) started a meme called the F-List. I'm not sure my F-List was what she was looking for, but she linked me anyways.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Sign of the Times

My kids had a fun Halloween.

I walked my daughter around the neighborhood with her best friend and her father. When Alissa was done she took over the task of handing out the candy, something I think she enjoys just as much as receiving it.

My son is old enough now that he was able to go out on his own with his best friend. It is no longer cool to hang out with dad or the little sister.

We have lived in this neighborhood for about 6 years. It is a nice neighborhood, people would drive to our neighborhood to amass Halloween candy, but I have seen a change the last couple of years that makes me a little sad.

I bet two years ago 80% of the houses in my neighborhood participated in Halloween festivities. This year I would guess closer to 30% bothered to participate. That was still enough candy to keep our dentist in business, but nothing like it used to be.

The streets were just dark. People were not at home, at home but not handing out candy, or the house was bank owned. And there was a lot of the latter.

Are times that tough that you can’t afford to buy candy for Halloween? Maybe. The vacant homes, now looking more like haunted houses, might support that statement.

It’s depressing to think about what my house is worth now compared to a few years ago. I’m not even going to ask. We don’t have plans to move anyways...

So, what kind of candy have you been stealing from your kids this weekend? Anything with the word Reese’s has mysteriously disappeared from my kid’s bags.