Thursday, December 28, 2006

Men Will Be Men

This year's Christmas was kind of bittersweet. We know that it will probably be the last one that we spend with Sherri's dad. We spent the night Christmas Eve so John could see the kids open their Santa gifts on Christmas morning. One of the highlights of my day came at an unexpected moment.

While watching the Laker/Heat game, John and Mary called us kids (Sherri, her sister and husband, and myself) into his bed room for a serious discussion about his health. It was half time, so John thought he would just put the new 42 inch LCD TV on mute and us boys wouldn't be distracted by the game.

John has become completely dependant on his breathing machine, without it he would suffocate. I think that is how most ALS patients die. His doctor said that usually at this point the patient has about two months to live. At some point in time the breathing machine will not be enough.The doctor said we would know when that time had arrived and gave them a prescription that would relieve pain and anxiety when John was at that point. Not an assisted suicide type of thing, just something that would make the passing more comfortable for him. When this time arrives, John would like his family to be with him.

This conversation is going as expected, teary eyes, sad faces, when all of a sudden John goes, WHOA as he is looking at the TV screen. During half-time, ABC decided to go into the stands and interview Siovaughn Wade, the wife of the Miami Heat's Dwayne Wade. She had a low cut dress on that was barely covering a huge rack that John couldn't help but notice. We all said WHOA. The camera quickly zoomed to her face. We all started laughing. The timing was perfect. Siovaughn Wade's boobs put an end to a real bummer conversation. It is good to know that even in times of sorrow, men will be men.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

What The Heck!

There was no baking! None of the gingerbread house kits required any baking. I was kind of bummed about that. Nothing had good candy either, but I told Alissa we were gonna make a gingerbread house, there was going back after that! Anyways it was still fun to do. Maybe next year I won't do a rush job and make one from scratch, with good candies too. Thanks for the project Sue. :)

Sue, I Can Bake.

I made pizzas for over 10 years. I know my way around an oven. Not just those conveyer ovens that most pizza places use today either. As a matter of fact I baked cookies today, before I saw your post! A gingerbread house would be a snap! Game on baby!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Only In Palm Desert

My wife is the manager of a ladies clothes store in Palm Desert CA. Palm Desert is an upper income community in the Palm Springs area. All of the real money in the Palm Springs area comes from Palm Desert, Rancho Mirage, and La Quinta. Palm Springs is middle of the road now.

Every year Sherri's store collects toys for the underprivileged kids in the area. Even though there is a lot of money in the Coachella Valley, there are many low income areas that have a need for this stuff.

Anyways, she has a big box in her store that customers can leave a small toy for a needy child. The ladies are always very generous, but some ladies don't seem to know who they are giving gifts to. Here is a list of some of the things found in the box.

A Neiman-Marcus gift bag.
Jewelry. A nice necklace, bracelet, and toe ring set.
Adjustable bra straps.
Gift bag from Bed Bath and Beyond.
Make up from Ulta.

Any toy from the .99 store probably would have made the day of any of these kids. What the heck are these ladies thinking?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006


I'm a big wuss. This hernia repair job hurts like hell!!! I don't know how these women who have c-sections get around so quickly. Good thing I have plenty of vicodin! I have been kicking back watching movies on vicodin all day. "Lucky Number Sleven" and "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang". Pretty good movies, K.K.B.B. made me laugh too much though. Maybe I'll do most of my blogging on vicodin this week. I'm sure Nicole Richie would approve.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Home for the holidays...

... only because I'm getting my belly-button fixed! I've had this hernia for about a year. It really doesn't hurt. It just looks funny, and gets stinky! (Aren't you glad I shared that!) It's also a weird feeling being able to push my intestine back into my abdomen. (Aren't you glad I shared that too!) So Monday morning I get my guts pushed back in, and the hole covered with mesh and sewn back together. Hey, that's it! That's what Austin can do with new found skill!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

This will be my final entry ...

… about Austin’s femininity. I don’t want everyone to think I’m a ragging on him, but he keeps spewing estrogen all over the place. We will just call this the end of a trilogy, kind of like “Return of the Jedi”, that was kind of gay, it had Ewoks. First we had “Cheer Wars”, then “The Seamstress Strikes Back”, and finally “Return of the Make Up Artist”.

Not very long ago (last weekend), in a galaxy not far away (Disneyland), my family and me celebrated Alissa’s 6th birthday. We drove there Sunday afternoon, spent the night at one of the Disneyland hotels, and spent the entire day, Monday, hopping between California Adventure and Disneyland. It was a great time, we all had fun.

There are lots of things to do there without actually going into Disneyland. Sunday we spent the entire afternoon hanging out in downtown Disney. It was Alissa’s day, so we let her pick out the hang out places. Her favorite place was a store called Libby Lu’s. I have to admit it was pretty cool. Like a Bassmaster Proshop for men; Libby Lu’s is the ultimate store for little girls.

Libby Lu’s had all the “bling” a little girl could ask for. Libby Lu’s also had many “stylists” on hand to do little girl makeovers. Alissa’s favorite thing to do at Libby Lu’s was to make her own make up, it was also Austin’s. He was very into the lip-gloss station. He made sure Alissa was putting the right amount of glitter into every $10.00 jar she made. (Libby Lu’s was not cheap) They had two jars made before I noticed how much it was going to cost. Ouch.

Saturday, December 9, 2006

Come On Now...

... He is starting to sew! My wife doesn't sew!
Alissa got a sewing kit. She wanted to repair some of the stuft animals that Splinter had chewed up. She didn’t know what to do, so I had to get her started. It's a good thing I've seen Rambo: First Blood, I stitch up all my cuts!
Here comes Austin, "What are you guys doing?"
Alissa, "Sewing, wanna try?"
Austin, "Yeah!"
Me, "Great."
The kids sewed up every "Splinterized" animal in the house. This was cool; I actually got to watch almost an entire movie without interruption. When they were done with the animals, Austin repaired a pair of shorts that he had ripped. This kind of spooked me; I think he can actually wear them now.
Next day:
Austin, "Dad, did you ever sew when you were a kid?"
Me, "Nope."
Austin, "Boys sew, right?"
Me, "...................................................... right."
Austin, "Cool, I like to sew."
Me, "That's nice."


Tuesday, December 5, 2006

That's So Cute, I Guess.

A friend of the family gave Alissa an early birthday gift yesterday. It is one of those gifts that if you are the parent of the child getting that gift, you might want to kill the giver.
Alissa got
this. It is the Bella Dancerella Cheerleader Studio! Now I get to listen to the same annoying cheers over and over again! Put it together girls and do it with spirit!

B.E.L.L.A., B.E.L.L.A., Bella Bella all the way!
Hey, go Bella, shake it up, go Bella!
Hey! Hey! Bella fans, yell it out and rock the stands

It is really cute. Watching Alissa in front of the TV doing her "routine" is adorable. I have to sneek a peek because she doesn't want me to watch. She doesn't understand that cheerleaders do this kind of thing IN FRONT of people. What's not so cute is my son Austin doing the "routine" with her. I'm signing him up for baseball A.S.A.P.!

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Trip to Arizona

About 5 years ago my father died of esophageal cancer. About 6 months later my grandmother died from cancer of the gallbladder. Each death took a huge toll on my relationship with my mother and sister. People do some weird stuff when confronted with the death or inevitable death of a loved one, and my mother and sister went over the top. I’m not going to air out dirty laundry, but I have not seen or talked to my mother since my grandmother’s funeral.

This weekend I went to visit my mother. She bought a new house in Arizona about 6 years ago and has never invited me to see it. I have been insulted for quite some time.
I was reluctant to go, but felt it was time to bury the hatchet.

When we showed up yesterday, I was surprised by the feelings that I felt when I first saw my mother. She looked older. Her hair had gone white and had gotten considerably thinner and she looked old. All of my bitter feelings disappeared and I just wanted to hug my mom.

My mother and I really didn’t talk much about what had happened in the past. I think we just understood it was time to move on. She was really great with Austin and Alissa. My stepfather was equally as good with the kids. He totally won the heart of Alissa. It turned out to be a really great trip.

Some things aren’t worth hanging on to. If you have some sort of problem with someone close to you fix it or let it go. The bitter feelings are not worth it.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

"I can't believe I watched the whole thing!"

If I see an infomercial on the TV I usually change the channel immediately. Today was a different story. I came across an infomercial today for “The Midnight Special”. The good music, colorful outfits and funky dance routines mesmerized me. I sat there and watched the whole thing.

I remember when I was a kid waking up in the middle of the night because my dad had turned up the TV too loud while watching
“The Midnight Special”. I wasn’t that young, so he would let stay up and watch it with him. There is something about the acts back in the 70’s and early 80’s that will always stay with me. I think this show started the MTV revolution.

Friday, November 24, 2006

The Cost Of Doing Business

I found this interesting.

Mountain View Country Club ( my employer ) pumped over 540 million gallons of water to irrigate the golf course. The cost of that water was the same amount of money the clubhouse spent on bottled water, about $40,000.

1. The cost of bottle water is ridiculous.

2. The cost of irrigation water is cheap.

That $40,000 number is a little misleading. It does not cost $40,000 to water my golf course. The water itself is $40,000. The electricity to pump that water onto the golf course is another $110,000.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I Am Thankful

Each holiday that passes gets tougher and tougher for my family. We spend them all at my in-laws house. Which is exactly where we want to be. It is just hard to do. My father-in-law John has ALS. It is hard to say where he is at in his illness. He can still talk. His breathing has to be assisted. He can eat solid food, a little, but has a tube in his stomach that we have to inject most of his meals. He does not have the strength to do anything. He doesn’t leave his bed. He has to have everything else done for him. I hear that it could still be a long time before he passes away. There could be a long time where he can’t communicate or do anything, just lay there, in pain.

We are very thankful each holiday that we still get to spend with John, even under these circumstances. It is our privilege to take care of the man who has taken care of us for so many years.

Remember to be thankful for everything. It is easy to forget the simple things that we take for granted.

Have a great Thanksgiving,

Monday, November 20, 2006

Getting To Know Me.....

.... getting to know more about me.

This post is from my old blog. It will better acquaint YOU with ME!

As I stated in the bio, Bleak Future was made about 10 years ago. It was a very low budget horror/comedy. The film’s writer and director was Brian O’Malley. Brian used to deliver pizza for me when I was the manager of a Domino’s Pizza in Upland California.

We used to kick around ideas about movies and characters. Malathionman is a character I thought up. The
"Malathionman" in Bleak Future was not the exact character I had in mind, but the general idea was there.

About 6 months after my wife and I had moved to the bay area (San Francisco), Brian called me and asked if I would be Malathionman. After all, he was my idea, and I would do it for free, so I agreed. This would involve 2 trips back down to Southern California.

The first trip would be to have a mold of my big old pumpkin head made. They figured that I had the biggest head, and because they couldn’t make a bunch of molds, my head would be used as the foundation for all the mutant heads in the movie. What an honor!

The whole process of making a mold of my head was just like that documentary about Thriller. Remember that! So just like Michael Jackson, I had to let the make up guy pour goo all over my entire head, and we had to wait about an hour for it to dry. Not very fun if you are claustrophobic, but I’m not, so it was no big deal. Everyone hung out and kept talking to me so I wouldn’t get spooked, plus they were curious, it was the first time this guy had ever done such a thing. Good thing to know now that I have about 20 lbs of sticky crud all over my nugget.

The second trip would be for filming. I was only available for 2 days. Brian had to save all my scenes for those two days. The first night would be shot on a set they made in some guys garage. The second day would be on location in the desert about 45 miles NE of Baker California, home of The World’s Largest Thermometer!

Day one, or should I say night one, went without a hitch, but it was kind of late when we finished, about 10:30pm. We needed to leave for the desert at 4am! It was about a 3 hour drive to the location. We needed to get there before it got too hot. Take a look at the Malationman pictures, that outfit was hot!

I remember nodding off many times on the way there. I finally woke up for good when I noticed we were going about 100 mph! I told the driver to slow the F--- down. I was very tired and this car was not made to go that fast, so yes, I dropped the F-bomb. I had this picture of Chevy Chase in my head, driving his family in Vacation. I didn’t want the same for us.

We got to the location about 7:30am. I don’t know how these guys found this place. It was literally in the middle of nowhere. Off of this two lane highway in the middle of the desert was a dirt road that led up a hill to an abandoned construction site. No signs or landmarks, you just had to know that dirt road was there. And a lot of people did, we saw quite a few campers drive by on the dirt road while we were filming. I guess further up the road people would ride motorcycles or shoot guns or whatever people do in the middle of the desert for fun.

About ¾ through the shoot we noticed 2 police cars driving up the dirt road. We figured they might be coming up to kick us off the construction site. You know darn well we didn’t have permission to be there. Who would have thought we would even be bothered out where we were. We certainly had no idea that us being there was going to be such a big deal. It was.

We all stood there on top of this hill and watched as the police came closer and closer, and they were driving fast too! They were coming for us. Great, we won’t get to finish, and probably get fined too. They came to a dusty stop right in front of us. They quickly
opened their doors, then surprise, they quickly pulled their guns and shouted, “EVERYBODY DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM!”

Once again, look at the Malationman pictures. You may notice a silver pipe sticking out from under my sleeve. This pipe is strapped to my arm. It is what Malationman uses to hose down his victims with malathion. The police don’t understand that. They just don’t like what it looks like, and I can’t drop it! I kid you not, two weeks earlier I was robbed at gunpoint. I was more nervous with the cops pointing the gun at me than punks.

This all went down really fast. It didn’t take but a few seconds once the police really looked at us to realize what we were doing. Their next line was classic, “ Take us to your leader.” That just sounded too silly, and we all started to laugh.

Remember all those campers that drove by? Apparently we freaked someone out. The police got a 911 call about some
"cult" killing people out at the abandoned construction site. So they responded accordingly. I don’t know what the big deal was. There were only a few heads lying around, some mutants chasing each other with spears, and a guy melting people with insecticide.

Everyone had a good laugh, the police too. They just wanted us to be sure we cleaned up when we were done.

The ride home was much slower, and safer. We had plenty of laughs and good things to talk about. It was definitely a lot of hard work, and a very good time. Something I will always remember.

Bleak Future has a website. If you go there you can see a trailer. I'm the last guy in the clip.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Noah Drake

One of the nice things about living near Indian casino's is all of the entertainment that stops by. It is cool, but kind of sad. Most of the hot groups from my adolescence seem to make the rounds through the Coachella Valley. Styxx, Cheap Trick, Billy Squire, they have all been here the last year. These guys are now pushing 55 and are still, what it seems like, living in the past, or they mismanaged their money and have to do these small-time gigs to get by.

The most recent 80's rocker to stop by the Palm Springs area was Rick Springfield. This brought back all sorts of childhood memories.

It is now time to make a confession. I watched General Hospital back then. It doesn't seem very manly now, but everyone at school watched GH. That whole Luke and Laura thing was going on. The Casadine's had that "weather machine". Demi Moore was just starting out (if I remember right, she had a mustache and no boobs at the time). And there was the doctor all the chicks wanted, Noah Drake (Rick Springfield).

It must have been hard to be taken seriously as a musician when he was acting on a soap opera. No wonder he left GH so quickly. I really enjoyed "Working Class Dog". It was probably one of the better albums at that time.

While driving around town with my son, the "retro lunch show" came on the radio. "I've Done Everything For You" came on, so I cranked it. My son even liked it. It is just a shame that the stuff I like, is now is considered to be "retro". :(

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Trying Something New

Hey there! This is Malathionman! This is my first blog at Blogger. I have a space here, at MSN Live Spaces, but I was having technical problems, so I thought I would give this place a shot. Hopefully the people I met at Live Spaces will visit me here.

It looks like it may take me a little time to figure out all of the gadgets here at Blogger, so this page will definitely be a work in progress.

Things I like to share are, pictures, music, stories about work, family, and the past.

That's it for now.