I know this may sound weird, but it has been 6 months since I have worn a pair of pants.
Today was opening day at the golf course that I work at. Pants are required from opening day until Easter, after that we can wear shorts.
It always feels strange when I start wearing them again.
I just thought I would share.
Let the rude comments begin.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Longest Month of the Year
The longest month of the year for me is October.
It is the month my golf course closes for over seeding.
What we basically do is dry up all the warm season grass and scalp it to the ground. It is a very dusty job. A lot residents leave town because the grass in the air is too much to handle. I just stock up on allergy medicine and try to stay awake while I’m operating heavy equipment.
We will hopefully have the scalping done in one week. We work dawn till dusk until it is.
Next we reseed the course with about 110,000 lbs. of cool season grass. Another 3 days, dawn til dusk.
That leaves 20 days of worrying about if that seed is going to grow. Waiting for that first sign of life can seem like an eternity. Like waiting for water to boil.
Like waiting for me to post
It is the month my golf course closes for over seeding.
What we basically do is dry up all the warm season grass and scalp it to the ground. It is a very dusty job. A lot residents leave town because the grass in the air is too much to handle. I just stock up on allergy medicine and try to stay awake while I’m operating heavy equipment.
We will hopefully have the scalping done in one week. We work dawn till dusk until it is.
Next we reseed the course with about 110,000 lbs. of cool season grass. Another 3 days, dawn til dusk.
That leaves 20 days of worrying about if that seed is going to grow. Waiting for that first sign of life can seem like an eternity. Like waiting for water to boil.
Like waiting for me to post
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Mr. Popularity
Remember this little guy? Ernie was a Christmas present to the wife and kids. But he also has another job. He “works” with me at the golf course.Last winter we had a problem with migratory coots. Hundreds of these coots try to make MVCC their home for the winter. They are a huge problem. All they do is eat our newly seeded grass and crap all over the place. The members wanted the coots to go away. When you buy a membership for $80,000 and pay monthly dues of $850 you don’t want to have to putt through bird shit.
Nelson thought getting a “bird chasing“ dog for the golf course would help, but he didn’t want to take care of one.
Sherri wanted a Labrador retriever, but she didn’t think we had a large enough yard to accommodate such an energetic dog.
Like peanut butter and chocolate, the my two problems turned into an unbeatable combination. Both my family and the members at MVCC love Ernie. Sometimes I think more than me. When I get home from work, “ERNIE! YOU’RE HOME! Oh, hey dad.”
When Ernie is with me in my cart members will stop me, “How is Ernie today?” God forbid they ask how I am. That’s OK; I love the BIG guy too.
One of our fertilizer vendors has asked local golf courses with dogs to submit pictures for their 2009 calendar. So I am going to send in a picture of Ernie. I thought I would post the three that I have narrowed it down to and let you guys, “The Cult of Malathion” help me decide.
A.
B.
C.
This may be my favorite, but I'm not sure it is "calendar" material.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Flies With Fresh Breath
The bugs in the desert are pretty bad in the summer. It is better to say bugs are bad in the summer for everyone. This has to do with high temperatures that encourage insect eggs to hatch. Our problems insects are crickets, roaches, ants, and flies, pretty common stuff.
I have a Qualified Applicators Certificate from the State of California. This means I could get a job with ORKIN if I wanted, but I enjoy the free golf and lunch where I work too much to consider it. You would think I could handle killing my own bugs but I have an exterminator do it. He does a real good job with the crickets, roaches, and ants, but the flies are still a problem. With three dogs you can probably guess why.
Sherri and the exterminator (Ray) are real close. If she sees anything crawling around the house with more than four legs Ray gets a call. She asked Ray if there was anything he could do about the flies. Austin thinks Ray should do a better job keeping the dog dung picked up. Ray thinks Austin should pick it up twice a day instead of once. I agree with Ray, but when the dog takes a dump in his room he still has a hard time finding it and dealing with it, so I don’t think twice a day is going to “fly” (get it). Ray’s other suggestion was just as helpful, pay $75.00 a month for his special fly treatment.
Friday night Ray gives Sherri a call. What’s up with that? He tells her that he heard about a different, inexpensive way to kill flies in the yard. Spray your yard with Listerine. Something in the antiseptic kills the flies, and it is also safe to spray around pets and plants. Just put it in a hand sprayer and apply it full strength.
I think it sounds stupid, but Sherri hates flies more than decaf, so she is “all in”. Saturday morning she buys two gallons of Listerine, mint flavored, and sprays the yard herself. I won’t participate in such witchcraft I may lose my QAC.
I won’t say it was a total success, but I will say it did put a dent in the fly population. I think the results are going to be short lived. The sprinklers should wash off most of the mouthwash in a day or so. I will say if are you going to entertain in the yard and you have a fly problem it might be worth spraying the night before with some cheap .99 Store mouthwash. I don’t think flossing will help.
I have a Qualified Applicators Certificate from the State of California. This means I could get a job with ORKIN if I wanted, but I enjoy the free golf and lunch where I work too much to consider it. You would think I could handle killing my own bugs but I have an exterminator do it. He does a real good job with the crickets, roaches, and ants, but the flies are still a problem. With three dogs you can probably guess why.
Sherri and the exterminator (Ray) are real close. If she sees anything crawling around the house with more than four legs Ray gets a call. She asked Ray if there was anything he could do about the flies. Austin thinks Ray should do a better job keeping the dog dung picked up. Ray thinks Austin should pick it up twice a day instead of once. I agree with Ray, but when the dog takes a dump in his room he still has a hard time finding it and dealing with it, so I don’t think twice a day is going to “fly” (get it). Ray’s other suggestion was just as helpful, pay $75.00 a month for his special fly treatment.
Friday night Ray gives Sherri a call. What’s up with that? He tells her that he heard about a different, inexpensive way to kill flies in the yard. Spray your yard with Listerine. Something in the antiseptic kills the flies, and it is also safe to spray around pets and plants. Just put it in a hand sprayer and apply it full strength.
I think it sounds stupid, but Sherri hates flies more than decaf, so she is “all in”. Saturday morning she buys two gallons of Listerine, mint flavored, and sprays the yard herself. I won’t participate in such witchcraft I may lose my QAC.
I won’t say it was a total success, but I will say it did put a dent in the fly population. I think the results are going to be short lived. The sprinklers should wash off most of the mouthwash in a day or so. I will say if are you going to entertain in the yard and you have a fly problem it might be worth spraying the night before with some cheap .99 Store mouthwash. I don’t think flossing will help.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Would You Tell Your Boss?
If you have ever read Wear Gloves and Protective Eyewear you may know that I like to talk a lot of shit. Or maybe I should say I talk about shit. Maybe you’ll remember We Have A Plunger Just In Case and Butt Plug Not Included. In the fine tradition of those great entries I bring you Would You Tell Your Boss?
I have an employee his name is Reyes. He is what we call an irrigator. His job responsibilities require that he work a lot by himself. We need to be able to trust him to keep busy and do an honest days work without much supervision. We have found that not to be the case with Reyes. He appears to be getting very little done, and what is done is done half-ass. (Half-ass would be a technical term we use in the golf business.)
I have made it known to Reyes that I’m not satisfied with his job performance. He said I had some sort of problem with him and complained to my new boss. Mistake. Now my boss holds him accountable for every minute he is on the golf course. Reyes is now freaked out that he is going to loose his job, he should be. He calls me and reports to me every little thing that he does. Things are better, but it has gotten a little extreme.
As I am driving to the clubhouse to get some lunch I come across Reyes driving back to the maintenance shop in a hurry. He pulls me over to talk.
Hey Tom I gotta go home.
What’s the matter?
I’ve got real bad diarrhea and I shit my pants.
Umm...really?
REALLY. I shit in my underwear a couple of hours ago so I threw them away. Now I’ve shit in my pants....
Stop stop stop, enough, don’t get out of your seat. Just go home. Call me tomorrow if you can’t come in. I’m going to lunch now. (Yum.)
Later that day while I was washing my hands in the bathroom. As I threw away the paper towel I noticed a pair of underwear in the trashcan. I was curious, but not that curious.
I have an employee his name is Reyes. He is what we call an irrigator. His job responsibilities require that he work a lot by himself. We need to be able to trust him to keep busy and do an honest days work without much supervision. We have found that not to be the case with Reyes. He appears to be getting very little done, and what is done is done half-ass. (Half-ass would be a technical term we use in the golf business.)
I have made it known to Reyes that I’m not satisfied with his job performance. He said I had some sort of problem with him and complained to my new boss. Mistake. Now my boss holds him accountable for every minute he is on the golf course. Reyes is now freaked out that he is going to loose his job, he should be. He calls me and reports to me every little thing that he does. Things are better, but it has gotten a little extreme.
As I am driving to the clubhouse to get some lunch I come across Reyes driving back to the maintenance shop in a hurry. He pulls me over to talk.
Hey Tom I gotta go home.
What’s the matter?
I’ve got real bad diarrhea and I shit my pants.
Umm...really?
REALLY. I shit in my underwear a couple of hours ago so I threw them away. Now I’ve shit in my pants....
Stop stop stop, enough, don’t get out of your seat. Just go home. Call me tomorrow if you can’t come in. I’m going to lunch now. (Yum.)
Later that day while I was washing my hands in the bathroom. As I threw away the paper towel I noticed a pair of underwear in the trashcan. I was curious, but not that curious.
Friday, March 7, 2008
I Bet You Didn't Know
I had a birthday last week. They seem to come quicker and quicker. (Sigh)
I make it a point not to tell people at work that it is my birthday or if it was coming up. I get plenty of attention at home and I don’t want people who work for me to feel any kind of obligation to recognize the day.
This year the cat was out of the bag. The crew put together a really nice party for me. They arranged for an extra long lunch break with the new superintendent so that they could serve lunch, cake, and give me gifts. The new boss was really impressed that I had a crew that cared so much. I was really touched.
Below is a picture of my lunch and gift. Not shown is the bottle of Cazadores that they also gave me. The gift box of tequila came with two shot glasses. I guess the glass with my named engraved on it is supposed to be used for the Crown Royal. The glass reminds me of the one Elwood used in the fancy restaurant when he has the waiter fill his wine glass to the very top. I guess instead of filling that big glass with wine I’m supposed to fill it to the top with Canadian Whiskey. :)
I make it a point not to tell people at work that it is my birthday or if it was coming up. I get plenty of attention at home and I don’t want people who work for me to feel any kind of obligation to recognize the day.
This year the cat was out of the bag. The crew put together a really nice party for me. They arranged for an extra long lunch break with the new superintendent so that they could serve lunch, cake, and give me gifts. The new boss was really impressed that I had a crew that cared so much. I was really touched.
Below is a picture of my lunch and gift. Not shown is the bottle of Cazadores that they also gave me. The gift box of tequila came with two shot glasses. I guess the glass with my named engraved on it is supposed to be used for the Crown Royal. The glass reminds me of the one Elwood used in the fancy restaurant when he has the waiter fill his wine glass to the very top. I guess instead of filling that big glass with wine I’m supposed to fill it to the top with Canadian Whiskey. :)
Monday, February 18, 2008
It's Tough Being Ernie
My life is “ruff” rough.
I get up everyday at 4 am. I eat a healthy breakfast of lamb and rice and take my daily vitamin. Then I go to work.
The drive isn’t too long, about 10 minutes. It would be shorter but everyday the guy I drive with stops at Circle K to buy a diet coke. Dude needs to give that stuff up.
At work I have a meeting with the crew before they set up the golf course. Some guy named Oscar usually says he is going to have a carne asada with me, or was it have me for carne asada.
If it is the latter, he couldn’t catch me. I’m too fast. Every time I find a piece of goose or coot that the coyotes have left behind my “master” tries to take it away from me. He looks pretty silly chasing me around so he quit doing it. I just get to chew on it until I’m finished.
One thing he still can’t handle is my affinity for bird crap. I love that shit. I know I’m supposed to chase these geese and coots because they eat the grass seed and poop all over the place, but if he would just leave me alone out there I would at least clean up all of their mess. It would be better than all you can eat shrimp night at Sizzler.
A couple of hours of riding in a golf cart and running around the lakes chasing birds can make a guy tired, so I head back to the shop. I’ll usually settle down in the office with a knucklebone. The chef at the restaurant sets me up whenever he has veal in the kitchen. When I’m done gnawing on that bone for an hour or so its naptime.
After I’m done with my siesta I’ll ride around with the boss and check on the crew. The golf course now has a lot of players on it. Big bossman will stop occasionally to say hi to some of the members. They really don’t talk to him that much; they usually talk to me! They often ask me how many coots I’ve killed today. I say, “None, but I’ve been eating their shit and now I’m licking you with my tongue!”
On the ride home I prepare myself for the second half of my day. That means I have about 30 minutes to rest before the kids get home from school.
I put up with a lot from those kids, especially that little red head. She won’t leave me alone. One day she had me wearing her wiener dog pajamas. It is bad enough that I’m wearing her PJs but do they have to be wiener dog PJs?
Which brings me to the topic of wiener dogs. What’s up with the wiener dogs in this house? Splinter and Mia don’t let me have jack. They are always stealing my stuff. I’ll be chewing on a toy and if I turn my head for a second, poof toy is gone. Those little sausages never let me on the bed or couch either. I sit there and bark at them to let me up and they sit there and snap at me like alligators. It’s just not fair.
I get up everyday at 4 am. I eat a healthy breakfast of lamb and rice and take my daily vitamin. Then I go to work.
The drive isn’t too long, about 10 minutes. It would be shorter but everyday the guy I drive with stops at Circle K to buy a diet coke. Dude needs to give that stuff up.
At work I have a meeting with the crew before they set up the golf course. Some guy named Oscar usually says he is going to have a carne asada with me, or was it have me for carne asada.
If it is the latter, he couldn’t catch me. I’m too fast. Every time I find a piece of goose or coot that the coyotes have left behind my “master” tries to take it away from me. He looks pretty silly chasing me around so he quit doing it. I just get to chew on it until I’m finished.
One thing he still can’t handle is my affinity for bird crap. I love that shit. I know I’m supposed to chase these geese and coots because they eat the grass seed and poop all over the place, but if he would just leave me alone out there I would at least clean up all of their mess. It would be better than all you can eat shrimp night at Sizzler.
A couple of hours of riding in a golf cart and running around the lakes chasing birds can make a guy tired, so I head back to the shop. I’ll usually settle down in the office with a knucklebone. The chef at the restaurant sets me up whenever he has veal in the kitchen. When I’m done gnawing on that bone for an hour or so its naptime.
After I’m done with my siesta I’ll ride around with the boss and check on the crew. The golf course now has a lot of players on it. Big bossman will stop occasionally to say hi to some of the members. They really don’t talk to him that much; they usually talk to me! They often ask me how many coots I’ve killed today. I say, “None, but I’ve been eating their shit and now I’m licking you with my tongue!”
On the ride home I prepare myself for the second half of my day. That means I have about 30 minutes to rest before the kids get home from school.
I put up with a lot from those kids, especially that little red head. She won’t leave me alone. One day she had me wearing her wiener dog pajamas. It is bad enough that I’m wearing her PJs but do they have to be wiener dog PJs?
Which brings me to the topic of wiener dogs. What’s up with the wiener dogs in this house? Splinter and Mia don’t let me have jack. They are always stealing my stuff. I’ll be chewing on a toy and if I turn my head for a second, poof toy is gone. Those little sausages never let me on the bed or couch either. I sit there and bark at them to let me up and they sit there and snap at me like alligators. It’s just not fair.
Friday, February 1, 2008
No Cannonball Run
One of the fond memories I have about being a kid in the 70’s was going to the drive-in movies with my parents. We would pack a dinner and desert. This usually was fried chicken, potato salad, and some sort of pie or cake. We would get there a little early so we could play in the playground while mom and dad would set up the picnic dinner.
We would also pack blankets and pillows. We usually went in the summer. This would mean that the movies started late because of daylight savings. There was always a double feature. My sister and I would normally fall asleep before the end of the second movie.
While I was at work earlier this week I saw something that reminded me of the last double feature I saw with my parents before they got divorced; The Bad News Bears and The Gumball Rally. What I saw was a Shelby Cobra.
The Cobra was one of the featured cars in The Gumball Rally. It is also one of the better cars in Gran Turismo. I play a lot of Gran Turismo with my son Austin. I drive the Cobra because it kicks ass and I remember it from my childhood. It reminds about one of the few things my family did as a family when I was a kid.
Its funny what things we choose to remember about our childhoods.
We would also pack blankets and pillows. We usually went in the summer. This would mean that the movies started late because of daylight savings. There was always a double feature. My sister and I would normally fall asleep before the end of the second movie.
While I was at work earlier this week I saw something that reminded me of the last double feature I saw with my parents before they got divorced; The Bad News Bears and The Gumball Rally. What I saw was a Shelby Cobra.
The Cobra was one of the featured cars in The Gumball Rally. It is also one of the better cars in Gran Turismo. I play a lot of Gran Turismo with my son Austin. I drive the Cobra because it kicks ass and I remember it from my childhood. It reminds about one of the few things my family did as a family when I was a kid.
Its funny what things we choose to remember about our childhoods.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Damn It!
My time as acting superintendent at MVCC is just about over, although officially the GM was the acting superintendent. I met the new superintendent today. He will start officially in about two weeks. Ironically, I met the guy before about three years ago when I just got out of turf school. I interviewed at his course and accepted a position there. But when I got home from the interview I found a message waiting from MVCC. They offered me the same position and money, but MVCC is five minutes from home and a much nicer track. I would have had a 35 minute commute to a public course that had half the budget and 36 holes. MVCC only has 18 holes. So I had to call him back and renig on the job.
This is funny, as I was just getting ready to bag on the GM; he has called me at home. He is using the company truck and can’t find it in the parking lot. What a retard.
All the agronomical decisions the last two months have had to go through the GM and his advisors on the east coast. I was a little offended that they didn’t trust me enough to let me actually run things. I met the advisors and they knew a lot about growing grass on the east coast, but not the nature of the business here in the resort area that I live and work in. I even took the GM aside and said, “These guys are good guys, but I’m not too sure about some of the things they are having me do. You should be getting your advice from an expert that knows the golf business here in the Coachella Valley. We have over 100 golf courses here, it shouldn’t be hard to find someone.”
Well the “acting superintendent/GM” let the golf course get nice and yellow before he came to me and asked what the hell was going on with the golf course. I should have told him to ask his freaking advisors. Instead I made a couple of calls to superintendents in the valley that I trusted. I got some “good” advice and one week later the course is much greener and the members are much happier. It took 20 minutes of my time and about $15,000 in fertilizer that my old boss didn’t budget for. The advisors cost that much.
The guys I called threw 41-0-0 just like we did, but they knew it would shut down during the frosty months of December and January. A different fertilizer needed to go down in early December, before the frost started to hit, then the course would not have gotten yellow. My old boss did not do his homework. He didn’t plan for that fertilizer application in December. There was like $1000 in the fertilizer budget. So ironically, the 41-0-0 purchase that cost my boss his job didn’t even do the job he thought it was going to do.
OK, so I have had to deal with a lot of political B.S. and stupidity over the that last two months. But one thing has REALLY made me mad.
Before the whole 41-0-0 thing, I had been working on losing some weight. I had lost close to 25 pounds. You can probably guess what I’m pissed about now. I’ve gained most of it back. I’m a baaad emotional eater. I have sought the comfort of chili-cheese fries, pizza, In-N-Out Burger, and strawberry cheesecake too many times the last 8 weeks.
DAMN IT!
This is funny, as I was just getting ready to bag on the GM; he has called me at home. He is using the company truck and can’t find it in the parking lot. What a retard.
All the agronomical decisions the last two months have had to go through the GM and his advisors on the east coast. I was a little offended that they didn’t trust me enough to let me actually run things. I met the advisors and they knew a lot about growing grass on the east coast, but not the nature of the business here in the resort area that I live and work in. I even took the GM aside and said, “These guys are good guys, but I’m not too sure about some of the things they are having me do. You should be getting your advice from an expert that knows the golf business here in the Coachella Valley. We have over 100 golf courses here, it shouldn’t be hard to find someone.”
Well the “acting superintendent/GM” let the golf course get nice and yellow before he came to me and asked what the hell was going on with the golf course. I should have told him to ask his freaking advisors. Instead I made a couple of calls to superintendents in the valley that I trusted. I got some “good” advice and one week later the course is much greener and the members are much happier. It took 20 minutes of my time and about $15,000 in fertilizer that my old boss didn’t budget for. The advisors cost that much.
The guys I called threw 41-0-0 just like we did, but they knew it would shut down during the frosty months of December and January. A different fertilizer needed to go down in early December, before the frost started to hit, then the course would not have gotten yellow. My old boss did not do his homework. He didn’t plan for that fertilizer application in December. There was like $1000 in the fertilizer budget. So ironically, the 41-0-0 purchase that cost my boss his job didn’t even do the job he thought it was going to do.
OK, so I have had to deal with a lot of political B.S. and stupidity over the that last two months. But one thing has REALLY made me mad.
Before the whole 41-0-0 thing, I had been working on losing some weight. I had lost close to 25 pounds. You can probably guess what I’m pissed about now. I’ve gained most of it back. I’m a baaad emotional eater. I have sought the comfort of chili-cheese fries, pizza, In-N-Out Burger, and strawberry cheesecake too many times the last 8 weeks.
DAMN IT!
Friday, November 23, 2007
My Longest Post Ever !!!
It has been a very busy and stressful couple of weeks for me, not much of it having to do with the holidays. Most of my tension has been coming from work. That is not the norm. I still love what I do, but I do not love working for the guy that I have been working for. I had to do something to end this relationship that was heading for disaster.
This guy gave me a chance in this business when others would have made me wait. Sure, he made me start at the bottom, but he moved me up the ladder very quickly. I am grateful for that. I got a late start in this career and don’t have a bunch of time to burn “paying my dues”.
I became his assistant about a year and a half ago. He got me involved in just about everything there was to do about being a superintendent. A lot of these things I have done for years at previous jobs, so it wasn’t hard to pick up. Payroll, budgets, employee reviews, processing invoices and bills, daily work schedules, overseeing the work on the golf course, I did it all, all in the name of “my training”, that shit only flies so long when then the boss is putting in a 30 hour work week.
I also think he has a personality disorder. I don’t hold that against him, I don’t think he can help a lot of what he does.
I am very much a “ducks in a row” kind of guy. I like things organized, and I think my crew does too. He seems much more comfortable when the crew is spread all over the golf course, trying to get ten things done at once, never completing anything. He likes the chaos. It is also a nightmare for the foreman or assistant to try and be in all these places at once. I love my crew, but that old saying “When the cat’s away, the mice will play”, rings true with even the best of employees.
Then there are the human resource issues. He has made female employees cry. Everyone is afraid to approach him when they would have requests. He actually shook an employee buy the shoulders when she couldn’t understand what he was trying to tell her. She was too afraid that she would lose her job if she reported him, so she didn’t. I didn’t hear about it until after she was no longer an employee. She was very shy and quiet, that must have scared the crap out of her; it really pissed me off when I heard about that.
A few months ago Nelson and I reported him to HR after he had made one of the female employees cry. She didn’t even do anything. She was mowing a green like I had told her to do. He stops her. He gets on his radio and tells me it was a stupid idea to put her on a greens mower, that she can’t handle it, while she was standing there. About 80% of my crew doesn’t speak English; I guess he didn’t realize she was in the other 20%. I came to the green that she was at and drove her to her new job, she cried the entire way there.
I believe he got written up and I believe HR made him take an anger management class. When Nelson and I talked to the general manager, his immediate boss, I told him to look more closely at the maintenance department. He needs to ask more questions. He needs to be more involved. There are other things going on that are not HR issues. I’m sure the GM didn’t like me telling him how to do his job, but my boss did whatever he wanted to do and was held accountable for very little.
Nelson and I have been holding things together for a long time. We have been keeping problems “in house”, but things have been snowballing for a while and it is getting out of hand.
On November 1 a vender came into my office with an invoice for $24,000 worth of 41-0-0 fertilizer. He wanted my signature saying that we had received it. That’s fine we received it, but on October 1. I signed it with great reservation. I confronted the vender about the date change. He said that my boss had arranged for the change of date on the invoice. I asked my boss the next day about the $24,000 invoice with my signature on it, “Hey, who knows about this invoice?” “Just you the vender, and me.” he replied.
October 31 marks the end of our fiscal year. That $24,000 will now appear on the books for 2008 instead 2007 where it belongs. Want to guess who is on a bonus program? It is not me. I have known about this kind of bullshit for a while, but now I’m linked to it. I could loose my job for this. He has put my family in harms way so that he can make a fucking bonus. I’m glad that he thinks I have the same ethics that he does. That playing with the books to make a bonus isn’t stealing. I’m sure my employer isn’t very attached to that 20 or 25 thousand dollars he may get when he makes his numbers.
So a couple of weeks ago I couldn’t sleep. It just hit me that I couldn’t let this go on any more. It was 2:30 in the morning when I got up. Sherri knew what I was going through. I woke her up to tell her that I was fine and that I was going for a walk, I just couldn’t sleep any more. She asked me, “What are going to do?” I answered, “I’m taking down my boss today.”
There was a small problem, who do I tell. I didn’t trust the GM. I’m sure his bonus is contingent with my bosses bonus. For all I know, he knows all about it, or just didn’t care to know. I told someone who didn’t answer directly to the GM. I told the controller our accountant. I told her about the invoice I had signed and gave her a few other venders to look at.
I knew my boss knew what was up. I’m sure the venders gave him a call. He didn’t talk to me much. He spent a lot of time with the bills and on the phone. I think he was trying to clean up his paper trail and get all his buddies on the same page, but I’m sure they all folded when my employer told them they weren’t paying them unless they fessed up to their arrangement with my boss. All I could do was wait and see how this would play out. Oh, did I mention this was all going down 3 days before we reopened from our over seed?
I figured if something was going to happen it would go down on Thursday of that week. The VP of the company that I work for had a scheduled appointment to be in town. He showed up on Monday, unannounced. My boss resigned the next day.
Now I am dealing with the aftermath of my decision. My employers have hired outside consultants to give the facility a deep anal probe with no Vaseline and unclipped fingernails. I’m sure the GM is pissed at me; nobody likes a rat. I’m sure they are not done looking at the GM too. I think he is a “dead man walking”.
I was hoping I could get my boss promoted and that he would recommend me for his old position. Now I have no reference to use on a resume since I basically screwed the two guys that I have worked for in this business. I think I could be the superintendent here, but the VP told me that they really aren’t interested in hiring an assistant for this position. That’s really rich, my boss had a very nice pedigree and look what that got them.
So it looks like I’ve set myself back a couple of years while I reestablish my reputation. I’m sure my old boss is thrashing me. The word is out. I got a call two hours after my boss quit from some guy wanting to know what happened and how he could apply for the job. This call came on my cell phone, I didn’t know who he was or how he got my number.
I will start applying at other courses as the opportunities arise, something I really didn’t want to do until now. Maybe someone will take a chance on me, but that means I will have to leave a course that I take a lot of pride in, and group friends I love to work with.
This guy gave me a chance in this business when others would have made me wait. Sure, he made me start at the bottom, but he moved me up the ladder very quickly. I am grateful for that. I got a late start in this career and don’t have a bunch of time to burn “paying my dues”.
I became his assistant about a year and a half ago. He got me involved in just about everything there was to do about being a superintendent. A lot of these things I have done for years at previous jobs, so it wasn’t hard to pick up. Payroll, budgets, employee reviews, processing invoices and bills, daily work schedules, overseeing the work on the golf course, I did it all, all in the name of “my training”, that shit only flies so long when then the boss is putting in a 30 hour work week.
I also think he has a personality disorder. I don’t hold that against him, I don’t think he can help a lot of what he does.
I am very much a “ducks in a row” kind of guy. I like things organized, and I think my crew does too. He seems much more comfortable when the crew is spread all over the golf course, trying to get ten things done at once, never completing anything. He likes the chaos. It is also a nightmare for the foreman or assistant to try and be in all these places at once. I love my crew, but that old saying “When the cat’s away, the mice will play”, rings true with even the best of employees.
Then there are the human resource issues. He has made female employees cry. Everyone is afraid to approach him when they would have requests. He actually shook an employee buy the shoulders when she couldn’t understand what he was trying to tell her. She was too afraid that she would lose her job if she reported him, so she didn’t. I didn’t hear about it until after she was no longer an employee. She was very shy and quiet, that must have scared the crap out of her; it really pissed me off when I heard about that.
A few months ago Nelson and I reported him to HR after he had made one of the female employees cry. She didn’t even do anything. She was mowing a green like I had told her to do. He stops her. He gets on his radio and tells me it was a stupid idea to put her on a greens mower, that she can’t handle it, while she was standing there. About 80% of my crew doesn’t speak English; I guess he didn’t realize she was in the other 20%. I came to the green that she was at and drove her to her new job, she cried the entire way there.
I believe he got written up and I believe HR made him take an anger management class. When Nelson and I talked to the general manager, his immediate boss, I told him to look more closely at the maintenance department. He needs to ask more questions. He needs to be more involved. There are other things going on that are not HR issues. I’m sure the GM didn’t like me telling him how to do his job, but my boss did whatever he wanted to do and was held accountable for very little.
Nelson and I have been holding things together for a long time. We have been keeping problems “in house”, but things have been snowballing for a while and it is getting out of hand.
On November 1 a vender came into my office with an invoice for $24,000 worth of 41-0-0 fertilizer. He wanted my signature saying that we had received it. That’s fine we received it, but on October 1. I signed it with great reservation. I confronted the vender about the date change. He said that my boss had arranged for the change of date on the invoice. I asked my boss the next day about the $24,000 invoice with my signature on it, “Hey, who knows about this invoice?” “Just you the vender, and me.” he replied.
October 31 marks the end of our fiscal year. That $24,000 will now appear on the books for 2008 instead 2007 where it belongs. Want to guess who is on a bonus program? It is not me. I have known about this kind of bullshit for a while, but now I’m linked to it. I could loose my job for this. He has put my family in harms way so that he can make a fucking bonus. I’m glad that he thinks I have the same ethics that he does. That playing with the books to make a bonus isn’t stealing. I’m sure my employer isn’t very attached to that 20 or 25 thousand dollars he may get when he makes his numbers.
So a couple of weeks ago I couldn’t sleep. It just hit me that I couldn’t let this go on any more. It was 2:30 in the morning when I got up. Sherri knew what I was going through. I woke her up to tell her that I was fine and that I was going for a walk, I just couldn’t sleep any more. She asked me, “What are going to do?” I answered, “I’m taking down my boss today.”
There was a small problem, who do I tell. I didn’t trust the GM. I’m sure his bonus is contingent with my bosses bonus. For all I know, he knows all about it, or just didn’t care to know. I told someone who didn’t answer directly to the GM. I told the controller our accountant. I told her about the invoice I had signed and gave her a few other venders to look at.
I knew my boss knew what was up. I’m sure the venders gave him a call. He didn’t talk to me much. He spent a lot of time with the bills and on the phone. I think he was trying to clean up his paper trail and get all his buddies on the same page, but I’m sure they all folded when my employer told them they weren’t paying them unless they fessed up to their arrangement with my boss. All I could do was wait and see how this would play out. Oh, did I mention this was all going down 3 days before we reopened from our over seed?
I figured if something was going to happen it would go down on Thursday of that week. The VP of the company that I work for had a scheduled appointment to be in town. He showed up on Monday, unannounced. My boss resigned the next day.
Now I am dealing with the aftermath of my decision. My employers have hired outside consultants to give the facility a deep anal probe with no Vaseline and unclipped fingernails. I’m sure the GM is pissed at me; nobody likes a rat. I’m sure they are not done looking at the GM too. I think he is a “dead man walking”.
I was hoping I could get my boss promoted and that he would recommend me for his old position. Now I have no reference to use on a resume since I basically screwed the two guys that I have worked for in this business. I think I could be the superintendent here, but the VP told me that they really aren’t interested in hiring an assistant for this position. That’s really rich, my boss had a very nice pedigree and look what that got them.
So it looks like I’ve set myself back a couple of years while I reestablish my reputation. I’m sure my old boss is thrashing me. The word is out. I got a call two hours after my boss quit from some guy wanting to know what happened and how he could apply for the job. This call came on my cell phone, I didn’t know who he was or how he got my number.
I will start applying at other courses as the opportunities arise, something I really didn’t want to do until now. Maybe someone will take a chance on me, but that means I will have to leave a course that I take a lot of pride in, and group friends I love to work with.
Monday, October 15, 2007
I Kill Grass Too
That title is a little misleading. It looks like we kill the grass, but we are really putting it to bed. The summer grass isn’t really dead it has just gone dormant. In the fall all of the golf courses in the desert go through the process of over seeding. This is when we turn off the water and cut the summer grass real low. Then we seed the course with winter grass turn on the water and cross our fingers. 
There are a lot of things that can go wrong. You watch as close as you can but you have no idea if the guys throwing seed missed any spots until the seeds have germinated. Sprinkler heads can break or get stuck, causing seed to move. Weather can be suck. Equipment can break. It is a lot of long hours and stress.
Today was my 8th consecutive day at work; I will not have a day off until this weekend, maybe. I got home after dark, and was pleasantly surprised with dinner waiting for me on the table. Dinner was great, but the special “slushie” Sherri had waiting was even better. The kids didn’t get why I got one and they didn’t.
Now I think I'll put the kids to bed, grab another "slushie" and see what kind of dress Edyta wears tonight.
There are a lot of things that can go wrong. You watch as close as you can but you have no idea if the guys throwing seed missed any spots until the seeds have germinated. Sprinkler heads can break or get stuck, causing seed to move. Weather can be suck. Equipment can break. It is a lot of long hours and stress.
Today was my 8th consecutive day at work; I will not have a day off until this weekend, maybe. I got home after dark, and was pleasantly surprised with dinner waiting for me on the table. Dinner was great, but the special “slushie” Sherri had waiting was even better. The kids didn’t get why I got one and they didn’t.
Now I think I'll put the kids to bed, grab another "slushie" and see what kind of dress Edyta wears tonight.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Yes, I Grow Grass For A Living
This picture was sent to me the other day. It is me at about 5:45 in the morning. It is probably my favorite time of the day. While most people are still in bed, I’ve been up about an hour and a half.In this picture I am going to inspect the putting green for stress or disease. As you can tell it is real tough work. It sucks when I actually have to get out of the golf cart that I drive around all day.
Getting out of the cart doesn’t really suck. I liked doing the manual labor when I was on the crew. I liked to walk mow the greens. I got a kick out of making sure that my greens had the straightest lines and cleanest edges.
I also liked to mow the fairways. Driving that big fairway mower is pretty cool. You also get to do that whole straight-line clean edge thing, just on a bigger scale.
I think you have to be a golfer to appreciate the job that I have. I love to golf, so it is safe to say that I love my job. My only regret is that I didn't get started on this career earlier. Both my father and father inlaw were big golfers, neither one of them got to play at my golf course. I would have loved to be able to share my golf course with them.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Being One Of The Guys
It didn’t take long for Nelson and I to become friends. Technically he works for me, but I think I treat him more like a partner. He actually has more experience than I do in golf course maintenance, but I have more management and life experience. We make a really good team. Everyone at MVCC knows we enjoy working together and people (our crew) enjoy working for us.
I make it a point to look out for my crew. The occasional box of doughnuts in the morning or ice cream in the afternoon goes a long way towards making these guys want to work for me. My boss says, “Save the receipt!” I tell him the treats are on me and I want the crew to know it. Buying sweets for the crew doesn’t give me a free pass to act like a jerk, I still have to treat them with respect, it just reinforces to them that I appreciate their effort. When you are a white male, and your crew is entirely made up of Hispanics that speak very little English, you better be able to convey that message.
Nelson takes these kinds of lessons from me, and I sponge information about golf course maintenance from him.
Last week, the mechanic at my course was challenged by his brother who works at another course, to a little game of softball. Nelson and I were invited to play. No other managers were invited. I thought that meant something and that we should go. I did have plans to see The Bourne Ultimatum with Sherri that night, but I cancelled on her so that I could do this. I felt that it was one of those times were it was just the right thing to do. Sherri understood, but I had to take her to the movie the next night at a later time (7:30pm). This sucks because I get up a 4:00am, but it was all worth it. The movie ruled, and the game was a blast.
Nelson drove us to a park called The Armory. This was not a place a couple of white guys would normally hang out. “ Dude, I’m not getting out of the car unless I see some of our guys.” I said. Luckily we saw some familiar faces, so we parked as close to the field as we could and got out.
I don’t know why these guys picked this park to play at. The Armory should have been called The Cow Pasture. The dirt infield was overgrown with weeds and grass. There were many holes in the outfield and infield that someone could easily break an ankle in. There was also a light pole in the middle of centerfield that came into play a lot; it was like 20 steps behind second base.
This game had a large turn out. It wasn’t the amount of players; it was all of the friends and family that came along to watch. There were probably about 30 people just to watch, and party.
The game turned out to be no game at all. MVCC opened up a can of whoopass on Sun City. We scored 10 runs in our half of the 1st inning and never looked back. Things stayed friendly and both teams had a good time.
After the game, it was “Get your picture with a couple of white guys night.” All the ladies had cameras and wanted pictures with Nelson and me. We posed with the ladies, we posed with families, and we even posed with the other team. It all made us feel very welcome, and glad that we decided to go.
I make it a point to look out for my crew. The occasional box of doughnuts in the morning or ice cream in the afternoon goes a long way towards making these guys want to work for me. My boss says, “Save the receipt!” I tell him the treats are on me and I want the crew to know it. Buying sweets for the crew doesn’t give me a free pass to act like a jerk, I still have to treat them with respect, it just reinforces to them that I appreciate their effort. When you are a white male, and your crew is entirely made up of Hispanics that speak very little English, you better be able to convey that message.
Nelson takes these kinds of lessons from me, and I sponge information about golf course maintenance from him.
Last week, the mechanic at my course was challenged by his brother who works at another course, to a little game of softball. Nelson and I were invited to play. No other managers were invited. I thought that meant something and that we should go. I did have plans to see The Bourne Ultimatum with Sherri that night, but I cancelled on her so that I could do this. I felt that it was one of those times were it was just the right thing to do. Sherri understood, but I had to take her to the movie the next night at a later time (7:30pm). This sucks because I get up a 4:00am, but it was all worth it. The movie ruled, and the game was a blast.
Nelson drove us to a park called The Armory. This was not a place a couple of white guys would normally hang out. “ Dude, I’m not getting out of the car unless I see some of our guys.” I said. Luckily we saw some familiar faces, so we parked as close to the field as we could and got out.
I don’t know why these guys picked this park to play at. The Armory should have been called The Cow Pasture. The dirt infield was overgrown with weeds and grass. There were many holes in the outfield and infield that someone could easily break an ankle in. There was also a light pole in the middle of centerfield that came into play a lot; it was like 20 steps behind second base.
This game had a large turn out. It wasn’t the amount of players; it was all of the friends and family that came along to watch. There were probably about 30 people just to watch, and party.
The game turned out to be no game at all. MVCC opened up a can of whoopass on Sun City. We scored 10 runs in our half of the 1st inning and never looked back. Things stayed friendly and both teams had a good time.
After the game, it was “Get your picture with a couple of white guys night.” All the ladies had cameras and wanted pictures with Nelson and me. We posed with the ladies, we posed with families, and we even posed with the other team. It all made us feel very welcome, and glad that we decided to go.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
We Have a Plunger Just In Case
I have had to address many awkward situations in my years of management. I had to talk to an individual about his body odor. I have had to counsel a guy about farting in the break room during lunch. I even had to confront a guy about having his penis pump mailed to his place of work. These were easy to address because it is an individual that I had to deal with, behind closed doors.(Except penis pump guy. I just gave him his mail infront of everyone.) I now have a situation at work that has to deal with an entire group of people.
I basically have two groups of Mexicans that work for me. One group is the old school immigrants. The other group is ones that are native to California.
I had noticed this problem before but didn’t know what to say. Today one of the natives came to me with a gripe about the old school guys. Now I have to address it with the entire crew so the old school guys don’t feel singled out. This is how the native asked me to fix the problem, “Tomas, will you tell the wetbacks to flush their fucking toilet paper instead of putting it in the trash can?”
I told my boss what was up and he made me call human resources with the problem. They were not fazed a bit. In fact it is something they have had to deal with before. I didn’t know this, but I guess the plumbing in the crappy parts of Mexico is really bad. The plumbing is so bad toilet paper won’t flush, so in the trash can it goes. It is just what the old school guys are used to. They also never flush unless they take a crap.
So today I had a meeting about bathroom etiquette, kind of like the one I have had to have with each of my kids.
I basically have two groups of Mexicans that work for me. One group is the old school immigrants. The other group is ones that are native to California.
I had noticed this problem before but didn’t know what to say. Today one of the natives came to me with a gripe about the old school guys. Now I have to address it with the entire crew so the old school guys don’t feel singled out. This is how the native asked me to fix the problem, “Tomas, will you tell the wetbacks to flush their fucking toilet paper instead of putting it in the trash can?”
I told my boss what was up and he made me call human resources with the problem. They were not fazed a bit. In fact it is something they have had to deal with before. I didn’t know this, but I guess the plumbing in the crappy parts of Mexico is really bad. The plumbing is so bad toilet paper won’t flush, so in the trash can it goes. It is just what the old school guys are used to. They also never flush unless they take a crap.
So today I had a meeting about bathroom etiquette, kind of like the one I have had to have with each of my kids.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
He's Grrrrreat!
There is this guy at work. We will call him Tony. My buddy Nelson and I have a lot of fun at his expense.
Tony is single and likes to brag about his sexual escapades. He thinks the married guys don’t get any. He is so wrong to assume that. It’s when you have kids that you don’t get any.
Nelson and I both thought Tony was gay the first time each of us met him. Hearing the stories about all the different women he takes to bed seems a little hard to believe, especially when its coming from a guy that reminds me of that dude on Grey’s Anatomy.
Well I guess Tony is trying to be more like old married guys. He is now looking for the perfect mate. Tony is going to do that by signing up on Match.com. Sharing that information with the guys was probably not the smartest thing to do. Showing us his site was even dumber.
It was fascinating checking out all the singles in the area that met Tony’s criteria. I believe it was something really tough, like between the age of 24 and 31 and good looking. I’m not sure he is getting his $3000 worth if that’s all he is going to require of his possible “perfect match”. Also, you got to wonder about someone who is going to be interested in a guy who wants to be called “tiger”. Nelson and I saw that nickname on his profile and could hardly contain the laughter.
If you decided that you needed help to find the perfect match, would you tell your friends that you spent $3000 on a service like Match.com? Hell, you could get a lot of fun dates for $3000.
Tony is single and likes to brag about his sexual escapades. He thinks the married guys don’t get any. He is so wrong to assume that. It’s when you have kids that you don’t get any.
Nelson and I both thought Tony was gay the first time each of us met him. Hearing the stories about all the different women he takes to bed seems a little hard to believe, especially when its coming from a guy that reminds me of that dude on Grey’s Anatomy.
Well I guess Tony is trying to be more like old married guys. He is now looking for the perfect mate. Tony is going to do that by signing up on Match.com. Sharing that information with the guys was probably not the smartest thing to do. Showing us his site was even dumber.
It was fascinating checking out all the singles in the area that met Tony’s criteria. I believe it was something really tough, like between the age of 24 and 31 and good looking. I’m not sure he is getting his $3000 worth if that’s all he is going to require of his possible “perfect match”. Also, you got to wonder about someone who is going to be interested in a guy who wants to be called “tiger”. Nelson and I saw that nickname on his profile and could hardly contain the laughter.
If you decided that you needed help to find the perfect match, would you tell your friends that you spent $3000 on a service like Match.com? Hell, you could get a lot of fun dates for $3000.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
So What If They Hate America
I may not always agree with the message, but these guys rock! Rage Against The Machine reunites this weekend at the 2008 Coachella Music Festival. It is a 3-day event held at the polo grounds in Indio CA. Rage Against The Machine headlines tonight. I’m kind of going to be there.
The polo grounds are about 2 minutes from my shop. I think there is some paperwork that I need to catch up on, so I’m going in to catch it up. If I happen to hear some loud music while I’m doing it, so be it. I would have had all my work done last night, but I was too busy listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers (yesterday’s headliner).
It has been a very entertaining weekend at the golf course too. Many of the homes are rentals, so there are lots of concertgoers on the property. Yesterday I had to wake up some girl passed out in the middle of number 16 fairway. Also, I was on the course about 5 AM today and there were 2 parties still going strong.
This weekend reminds me of a concert that I went to back in the 80’s. It was also a 3-day event. It was called The US Festival. My buddy and I camped out there all three nights. We were pretty gross by the end of the weekend, but so was everyone else. It was a great time.
The headliners for that weekend were The Clash, Van Halen, and David Bowie. The Clash pissed everyone off because they took forever to get on stage, Van Halen sucked because DLR was too drunk, but David Bowie put on a great show.
There were some other great bands on hand that weekend. Men At Work, Flock Of Seagulls, The English Beat, Missing Persons, INXS and Berlin were pretty good. The Pretenders, Oingo Boingo, The Stray Cats, and The Scorpions were very good. But the stand out of the non-headliners was U2. Bono really got the crowd going when he climbed the scaffolding of the stage and waved the Irish flag to the crowd. It was a crazy stunt; he was way up there and could have been seriously hurt.
The polo grounds are about 2 minutes from my shop. I think there is some paperwork that I need to catch up on, so I’m going in to catch it up. If I happen to hear some loud music while I’m doing it, so be it. I would have had all my work done last night, but I was too busy listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers (yesterday’s headliner).
It has been a very entertaining weekend at the golf course too. Many of the homes are rentals, so there are lots of concertgoers on the property. Yesterday I had to wake up some girl passed out in the middle of number 16 fairway. Also, I was on the course about 5 AM today and there were 2 parties still going strong.
This weekend reminds me of a concert that I went to back in the 80’s. It was also a 3-day event. It was called The US Festival. My buddy and I camped out there all three nights. We were pretty gross by the end of the weekend, but so was everyone else. It was a great time.
The headliners for that weekend were The Clash, Van Halen, and David Bowie. The Clash pissed everyone off because they took forever to get on stage, Van Halen sucked because DLR was too drunk, but David Bowie put on a great show.
There were some other great bands on hand that weekend. Men At Work, Flock Of Seagulls, The English Beat, Missing Persons, INXS and Berlin were pretty good. The Pretenders, Oingo Boingo, The Stray Cats, and The Scorpions were very good. But the stand out of the non-headliners was U2. Bono really got the crowd going when he climbed the scaffolding of the stage and waved the Irish flag to the crowd. It was a crazy stunt; he was way up there and could have been seriously hurt.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Why I'm Not In the Pizza Business
When I was a young man I made my living in the fast food industry. My first job was at McDonalds. I worked there 5 years. I also met my wife there.
My next job was at Domino’s Pizza. I spent 10 years working for a franchisee in southern California. It was a lot of fun, and a lot of hard work. I have many funny stories to tell about my days at Domino’s. It was back when they had the 30-minute guarantee. Talk about pressure. I still have dreams about having to answer phones, make pizzas, and tend the oven, while guaranteeing 30-minute delivery. After 10 years I was pretty much capped out salary-wise and ready for a change.
My wife worked for a store called Natural Wonders. She was offered a store manager position in the San Francisco area. It was supposed to be in a place that she would possibly be promoted to district manager. We had no children at the time, and we liked the area, so we said, “why not?” It will be a great experience.
We figured I could get a job in the pizza industry pretty easy, which I did. I went to work for Round Table Pizza. I was the store manager of the Hayward store. I really liked the people at RTP, but I didn’t like the location. I didn’t like the 40-minute drive and I didn’t like the area of my store. I had a bad feeling about taking the job, but I needed to get the job so we could move up there.
It took about 2 months for my feelings to be justified; I got robbed. I was coming out of my office when I notice my cashier with his hands up. I saw a guy in an Oakland Raider jacket pointing his gun at him. “ OMG the store is getting robbed!” I thought to myself.
“Take me to the safe mutha fucka!” I heard over my left shoulder. I turned around to see another Oakland Raider fan with his .45 pointed in my face.
As we walked back into my office the guy put the gun to the back of my head. I can still remember how hot the metal felt. I didn’t want to look at him. I just opened the safe, with the gun on the back of my neck the entire time.
I got the safe open and said, “there it is!” I never turned to look at him. “That’s it mutha fucka!” Oakland Raider fan said. There was about $400.00 dollars. “That’s it, it’s all there in the safe!” “OK asshole, you move an inch and I’ll blow your fucking head off!” Then the guy takes what’s in the safe and leaves.
I wait in my office, still on my hands and knees, until I hear one of the employees, “Tom, are you OK?” Whew, it’s over.
About 10 minutes later I’m being interviewed by the policed. The only description of the robbers I could give them was 2 black guys, medium build, with Raider jackets. That would be about 30% of the people who live in the area. Another thing they wanted to know was how much money did they get? “Well, they got about $400 from the safe, and about $80 from the till up front.” I replied. “Well that wasn’t too bad; had you made a deposit earlier in the evening?” the officer said. I sheepishly grinned, “Nope, that $3500 deposit would be in the desk that you are sitting on.” as I pull out the money to show him.
As far as robberies go, I guess it went really well. Hell, there were 3 customers in the dinning room that didn’t even know we were robbed. I was actually more nervous about 3 weeks later when I had another incident involving guns.
I knew I was lucky and that it was just a matter of time before it would happen again. That’s when I decided to move up from the fast food industry to retail! I would spend the next 8 years a Home Depot. I’ll blog about HD another day.
My next job was at Domino’s Pizza. I spent 10 years working for a franchisee in southern California. It was a lot of fun, and a lot of hard work. I have many funny stories to tell about my days at Domino’s. It was back when they had the 30-minute guarantee. Talk about pressure. I still have dreams about having to answer phones, make pizzas, and tend the oven, while guaranteeing 30-minute delivery. After 10 years I was pretty much capped out salary-wise and ready for a change.
My wife worked for a store called Natural Wonders. She was offered a store manager position in the San Francisco area. It was supposed to be in a place that she would possibly be promoted to district manager. We had no children at the time, and we liked the area, so we said, “why not?” It will be a great experience.
We figured I could get a job in the pizza industry pretty easy, which I did. I went to work for Round Table Pizza. I was the store manager of the Hayward store. I really liked the people at RTP, but I didn’t like the location. I didn’t like the 40-minute drive and I didn’t like the area of my store. I had a bad feeling about taking the job, but I needed to get the job so we could move up there.
It took about 2 months for my feelings to be justified; I got robbed. I was coming out of my office when I notice my cashier with his hands up. I saw a guy in an Oakland Raider jacket pointing his gun at him. “ OMG the store is getting robbed!” I thought to myself.
“Take me to the safe mutha fucka!” I heard over my left shoulder. I turned around to see another Oakland Raider fan with his .45 pointed in my face.
As we walked back into my office the guy put the gun to the back of my head. I can still remember how hot the metal felt. I didn’t want to look at him. I just opened the safe, with the gun on the back of my neck the entire time.
I got the safe open and said, “there it is!” I never turned to look at him. “That’s it mutha fucka!” Oakland Raider fan said. There was about $400.00 dollars. “That’s it, it’s all there in the safe!” “OK asshole, you move an inch and I’ll blow your fucking head off!” Then the guy takes what’s in the safe and leaves.
I wait in my office, still on my hands and knees, until I hear one of the employees, “Tom, are you OK?” Whew, it’s over.
About 10 minutes later I’m being interviewed by the policed. The only description of the robbers I could give them was 2 black guys, medium build, with Raider jackets. That would be about 30% of the people who live in the area. Another thing they wanted to know was how much money did they get? “Well, they got about $400 from the safe, and about $80 from the till up front.” I replied. “Well that wasn’t too bad; had you made a deposit earlier in the evening?” the officer said. I sheepishly grinned, “Nope, that $3500 deposit would be in the desk that you are sitting on.” as I pull out the money to show him.
As far as robberies go, I guess it went really well. Hell, there were 3 customers in the dinning room that didn’t even know we were robbed. I was actually more nervous about 3 weeks later when I had another incident involving guns.
I knew I was lucky and that it was just a matter of time before it would happen again. That’s when I decided to move up from the fast food industry to retail! I would spend the next 8 years a Home Depot. I’ll blog about HD another day.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
America Fuck Yeah...
… coming again to save the mother-fucking day!
If you haven’t seen Team America, you have no idea where the hell that came from. If you want to hear the theme song to that movie go here, it’s pretty funny.
A few months ago we hired a guy to fill the spot I vacated with my promotion. He is from Canada. Nelson is one of the nicest guys I know, so I must kick his ass as much as possible on the golf course. It has become quite the America versus Canada rivalry. Right now the score is America 5, Canada 3.
Last Friday I teamed up with Stephanie the fitness manager at my country club for a little match play action against Nelson and his buddy Brett from Calgary. Once again Team America was victorious. We do this all in fun, but it sometimes gets a little serious on the course. Stephanie has played golf with Nelson and me before, but hasn’t been part of the whole “America vs. Canada” thing. She was definitely into it.
Nelson and I have started playing tennis now. I think he thought because I’m a little heavier and older than him that he was going to school me on the courts. I believe the quote was, “I’m going to make you cry like a little girl”. America 2, Canada 0.
If you haven’t seen Team America, you have no idea where the hell that came from. If you want to hear the theme song to that movie go here, it’s pretty funny.
A few months ago we hired a guy to fill the spot I vacated with my promotion. He is from Canada. Nelson is one of the nicest guys I know, so I must kick his ass as much as possible on the golf course. It has become quite the America versus Canada rivalry. Right now the score is America 5, Canada 3.
Last Friday I teamed up with Stephanie the fitness manager at my country club for a little match play action against Nelson and his buddy Brett from Calgary. Once again Team America was victorious. We do this all in fun, but it sometimes gets a little serious on the course. Stephanie has played golf with Nelson and me before, but hasn’t been part of the whole “America vs. Canada” thing. She was definitely into it.
Nelson and I have started playing tennis now. I think he thought because I’m a little heavier and older than him that he was going to school me on the courts. I believe the quote was, “I’m going to make you cry like a little girl”. America 2, Canada 0.
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
How Is Malathionman Like A Dreamgirl?
I bet many of you were wondering that very thing. How is Malathionman like a Dreamgirl? Does he sing show tunes? Only in the shower. Does he like to dance? When ever there is a pole in the room. Does he like to wear high heals? Maybe if they came from Mocha Mama’s closet. The other day at work I was compared to a “Dreamgirl.”
Nelson is the guy my boss hired to fill my old position. He is a former golf course superintendent from Canada. He is a great guy, and very over-qualified for his current position. He is also very Canadian. He talks just like Bob McKenzie. He does own a copy of “Strange Brew” , and can probably quote the whole thing to you. He even keeps me updated on junior hockey scores, like anyone in the desert gives a rip about junior ice hockey.
While I was out with my surgery, Nelson was in charge of my crew. He did just fine, but it was a bit of culture shock for Nelson and my entire Hispanic crew. They are used to THIS white boy, and apparently missed me very much. I bring donuts every Friday. In fact they all showed up at my house the Saturday before Christmas to see how I was doing. Unfortunately I was at the post office and Sherri was in the shower when they showed up.
I get this call from Sherri, “Where the hell are you?”
Me, “You know where I’m at, I’m at the post office.”
“Get your ass home now.”
“Why? What did I do?”
“Your entire crew is here, and I just stepped out of the shower.”
“ Oh man (chuckle, chuckle, chuckle), that sucks for you.”
“Your dead.”
“I’ll be right there.”
Anyways, Nelson told me the story about how the crew was planning the trip to my house and how the girls were going to bring me flowers and tamales. He was very impressed.
Nelson, “Dude they love you here, you are like………..Beyonce!”
Me, “Thanks.”
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