Monday, March 31, 2008

They Would Not Have Been Merry Maids

It has been a week of firsts for the Malathionman.

I have lived at the current house for about four years. I have never been able to park a car in the garage. Between boxes of unpacked stuff, garage sale stuff, Christmas stuff, Halloween stuff, new bikes, old bikes, exercise bike, paint, tile, and just a bunch shit we will never ever use again but just don’t want let it go, the car has never made in the garage. Well the car finally did it. It got to spend the night in the garage. I got a little more organized and made some things mysteriously disappear. Actually it’s not a mystery until somebody knows it’s missing.

Next “first” is that I won my first auction on eBay! It was very exciting. I purchased a laptop for $365.00. That was $110.00 less than the “buy now” price that the computer shop was asking for. I had a price in mind and I stuck to it. I had to enter about 7 auctions before I got the price that I wanted. $365.00 was the lowest price I saw the computer go for until I finally won with a whopping $365.01 bid. Lots of fun; I will definitely try it again.

Lastly, I had my Micro League friends over yesterday for our annual draft. An event that used to be a bunch of single guys belching and farting and scratching themselves while they select players for the next year, has turned into a family “party” event with wives and kids that hang around us guys while we belch and fart and scratch ourselves while picking players for the next year. The draft at my house seems to have become a tradition. I don’t mind at all; I enjoy it. However, it is a lot of work for Sherri and me.

This year we did something different. We hired someone to clean the house, not just someone, but an actual cleaning service. In 22 years of marriage, I have never had the house professionally cleaned. Wow, what a difference. We might do it monthly now.

So here is a funny or gross story about the whole “cleaners experience”.

Sherri arranged for the cleaners to start early in the morning. I was at work. I have to work every other weekend, but only until 9am. When I got home the cleaners were still there working hard. The first thing I usually do when I get home is make a trip to the throne room. A couple of diet cokes and a breakfast burrito at 5am usually come calling around 930am. Well, the cleaners were still working, in both bathrooms! There is no way I’m going to stink up one of those bathrooms and then have them go back to work. They would then be entitled to hazard pay. So I went to the near by Jack in the Box and used the public toilet instead. I know; pathetic.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

No Sympathy

I don’t know why I found this so funny. I actually turned around, got out of the car and snapped this picture. Are things that tough for the homebuilders right now that they can’t afford to pay the sign shaker dude? I kind of felt sorry for the whole sign shaker community; their days must be numbered...

... Then I saw this fine example “shaking” two blocks down the road, I didn’t feel sorry any more. Maybe the homebuilders are just smart.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I should have taken a picture...

… but there is already too much shit on the internet.

My daughter Alissa likes to make every living thing she finds her pet. This took place earlier this week.

Daddy I found a fly!
That’s nice sweetheart.
I’ve named it Rainbow.
Why have you given it a name?
It’s my pet fly.
No its not.
Yes it is. I’ve made a home for it and everything!
That home better not be in the house.
Sad face, Its in my room.
What are you keeping it in?
A jar.
You can’t keep it, but if you bring it here we will set it free in the backyard.
But Daaaad!
No buts, just go get it.

A few minutes later.

Here it is Daddy.
Alissa, what is that in your jar?
No, the other thing.
You have been keeping a jar of pooh in your room?
Just today.
Don’t tell your mom.

Friday, March 7, 2008

I Bet You Didn't Know

I had a birthday last week. They seem to come quicker and quicker. (Sigh)

I make it a point not to tell people at work that it is my birthday or if it was coming up. I get plenty of attention at home and I don’t want people who work for me to feel any kind of obligation to recognize the day.

This year the cat was out of the bag. The crew put together a really nice party for me. They arranged for an extra long lunch break with the new superintendent so that they could serve lunch, cake, and give me gifts. The new boss was really impressed that I had a crew that cared so much. I was really touched.

Below is a picture of my lunch and gift. Not shown is the bottle of Cazadores that they also gave me. The gift box of tequila came with two shot glasses. I guess the glass with my named engraved on it is supposed to be used for the Crown Royal. The glass reminds me of the one Elwood used in the fancy restaurant when he has the waiter fill his wine glass to the very top. I guess instead of filling that big glass with wine I’m supposed to fill it to the top with Canadian Whiskey. :)