Friday, June 27, 2008

In My House

I don’t normally lock the front door when I’m home during the day, but I’m thinking about it.

Hi Mr. Johnson.
Hey Kiley.
Is Alissa home?
No, she went to the store with her mother.
Could you please tell her I stopped by?
Sure, would you close my bedroom door, I’m going to change my clothes.

I guess its cool that the neighborhood kids are not afraid to come into my house, but don’t parents feel uncomfortable about them doing it? When I was a kid I had a couple of friends that would let me in the house without knocking, but that was a different time. I don’t even let Alissa play out front unless someone is with her, and she must knock before she enters someone’s house.

When I was a kid, “Go outside and play!” was what most of us heard all summer long. Occasionally my dad would say, “Here’s 5 bucks, go buy me a carton of smokes and you can get ice cream with the change.” You can’t do that today when you are only 8.

Today parents are singing a different tune.

“Don’t go near that guy in the van with the little dog.”
“No, you can’t use the restrooms at the park, you’ll need to come home.”
“Stay away from that guy collecting aluminum cans.”

I have actually said all three of those things. :(

Google Readers, can you guess what Mary Jane Girls song is playing on the player?

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Don't Let The Smell Bother You

About 7 years ago I gave up all of my privacy. That would be when the county of San Bernardino gave Sarah, Austin, and Alissa to us. They were 9 years, 5 years, and six months old. At first it wasn’t too bad, but now that everyone is used to each other my privacy no longer exists.

My youngest, Alissa has no concept about my personal space.

I get home from work about 15 minutes before the kids get home from school. It is one of the few quiet times I have. It’s a great time take a dump, in private. Don’t you love it when there are kids outside the door asking you questions or they are whining about the other kid to you and all you are trying to do is not make loud farting noises while they are standing there?

When Alissa came home from the last day of school, she wanted to show me what she had made in class for me. It was a Father’s Day card. She was very excited. She was so excited that she couldn’t wait for me to get out of the bathroom.

The master bedroom has a “closet/stall/booth” whatever, with a sliding door that doesn’t lock. I hear my spastic little girl cheerfully burst into the house and come straight to the bathroom. Funny how she knows where to go.

Daddy! Look what I made for you!

The door slides open a crack and she waves the card in the room.

That’s really cool Alissa! Thanks!
I made one for my dad too!
Oh, that’s nice. Who is that?
Hi Mr. Johnson.
Its just Kiley.
Oh, OK.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Its (I'm) Not Unusual

All of us have them, guilty pleasures. Guilty pleasures are things we like to eat, watch, listen to, or do, that may not be considered mainstream. Something you may not share with someone until you get to know him or her better. I have lots of them. And as I get older I have come to realize that it is silly not to share fun, quirky, things about yourself, it makes you more enjoyable to be around. Who really likes that quiet dude that just keeps to himself? Sure there may be some laughs at your expense, but it will pay dividends in the end.

Today I am going to share one of my guilty pleasures. In the future I may share some more. Feel free to make fun or share.

I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s. There was a lot of great music in the 70’s and 80’s, or at least I think so. But there is one guy I secretly listen to. Tom Jones. I actually have a Tom Jones play list in my Rhapsody library.

When I was a kid I remember my mom watching This Is Tom Jones every week. I think this show was so hilarious, the Vegas-style singing, the ladies throwing under garments on stage, cheesy skits; it was total 70’s. Only Tom Jones could pull that routine off and get away with it.

I dig that even today he is doing the same thing he did back then. I also think it is cool that many younger artist have done work with him. It’s a sign of respect for the work that has done in the past, and proof that he is still cool.

One of my favorite Tom Jones appearances is in the movie Mars Attacks. It is a small cameo towards the end and I believe he has the final scene. I really liked Mars Attacks; it’s not a movie people mention when they talk about Tim Burton films.

So there it is; I have a man crush on Tom Jones, not Tommy Lee Jones, whom I think is cool too, and if you think about it he does have the same name.

Hopefully you are reading this from Wear Gloves and Protective Eyewear, and not from your Google Reader, so that you can enjoy the macho goodness that is Tom Jones.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Flies With Fresh Breath

The bugs in the desert are pretty bad in the summer. It is better to say bugs are bad in the summer for everyone. This has to do with high temperatures that encourage insect eggs to hatch. Our problems insects are crickets, roaches, ants, and flies, pretty common stuff.

I have a Qualified Applicators Certificate from the State of California. This means I could get a job with ORKIN if I wanted, but I enjoy the free golf and lunch where I work too much to consider it. You would think I could handle killing my own bugs but I have an exterminator do it. He does a real good job with the crickets, roaches, and ants, but the flies are still a problem. With three dogs you can probably guess why.

Sherri and the exterminator (Ray) are real close. If she sees anything crawling around the house with more than four legs Ray gets a call. She asked Ray if there was anything he could do about the flies. Austin thinks Ray should do a better job keeping the dog dung picked up. Ray thinks Austin should pick it up twice a day instead of once. I agree with Ray, but when the dog takes a dump in his room he still has a hard time finding it and dealing with it, so I don’t think twice a day is going to “fly” (get it). Ray’s other suggestion was just as helpful, pay $75.00 a month for his special fly treatment.

Friday night Ray gives Sherri a call. What’s up with that? He tells her that he heard about a different, inexpensive way to kill flies in the yard. Spray your yard with Listerine. Something in the antiseptic kills the flies, and it is also safe to spray around pets and plants. Just put it in a hand sprayer and apply it full strength.

I think it sounds stupid, but Sherri hates flies more than decaf, so she is “all in”. Saturday morning she buys two gallons of Listerine, mint flavored, and sprays the yard herself. I won’t participate in such witchcraft I may lose my QAC.

I won’t say it was a total success, but I will say it did put a dent in the fly population. I think the results are going to be short lived. The sprinklers should wash off most of the mouthwash in a day or so. I will say if are you going to entertain in the yard and you have a fly problem it might be worth spraying the night before with some cheap .99 Store mouthwash. I don’t think flossing will help.