Monday, March 31, 2008

They Would Not Have Been Merry Maids

It has been a week of firsts for the Malathionman.

I have lived at the current house for about four years. I have never been able to park a car in the garage. Between boxes of unpacked stuff, garage sale stuff, Christmas stuff, Halloween stuff, new bikes, old bikes, exercise bike, paint, tile, and just a bunch shit we will never ever use again but just don’t want let it go, the car has never made in the garage. Well the car finally did it. It got to spend the night in the garage. I got a little more organized and made some things mysteriously disappear. Actually it’s not a mystery until somebody knows it’s missing.

Next “first” is that I won my first auction on eBay! It was very exciting. I purchased a laptop for $365.00. That was $110.00 less than the “buy now” price that the computer shop was asking for. I had a price in mind and I stuck to it. I had to enter about 7 auctions before I got the price that I wanted. $365.00 was the lowest price I saw the computer go for until I finally won with a whopping $365.01 bid. Lots of fun; I will definitely try it again.

Lastly, I had my Micro League friends over yesterday for our annual draft. An event that used to be a bunch of single guys belching and farting and scratching themselves while they select players for the next year, has turned into a family “party” event with wives and kids that hang around us guys while we belch and fart and scratch ourselves while picking players for the next year. The draft at my house seems to have become a tradition. I don’t mind at all; I enjoy it. However, it is a lot of work for Sherri and me.

This year we did something different. We hired someone to clean the house, not just someone, but an actual cleaning service. In 22 years of marriage, I have never had the house professionally cleaned. Wow, what a difference. We might do it monthly now.

So here is a funny or gross story about the whole “cleaners experience”.

Sherri arranged for the cleaners to start early in the morning. I was at work. I have to work every other weekend, but only until 9am. When I got home the cleaners were still there working hard. The first thing I usually do when I get home is make a trip to the throne room. A couple of diet cokes and a breakfast burrito at 5am usually come calling around 930am. Well, the cleaners were still working, in both bathrooms! There is no way I’m going to stink up one of those bathrooms and then have them go back to work. They would then be entitled to hazard pay. So I went to the near by Jack in the Box and used the public toilet instead. I know; pathetic.


Leucantha` said...

Wow. The title really says it all.

Elizabeth said...

"So I went to the near by Jack in the Box and used the public toilet instead. I know; pathetic."

Such a kind, considerate man! *sniff*

What's that smell?

Flores Online said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ventl8r said...

In regards to your comment about gardens.....last spring I made 10 new flower beds (while pregnant, mind you) in an attempt to decrease green space; I would much rather garden than mow. I have plans for one long garden this spring that will pretty much finish up my plans of outling the backyard in gardens so I don't have to weed-whack.

Steph said...

Your description of the micro league draft had me laughing... reminded me of a Bill Simmons column I read once.

Oh, and congrats on getting the car into the garage AND the EBay score. Good times!

Natalie said...

I cleaned out my garage in the hopes of doing exactly the same thing. I worked all freakin' day, cleaned, organized, stacked, etc...

Then I attempted to put my truck in the garage. It doesn't fit. It's too big. It doesn't freakin' fit at any angle and I tried 'em all.

Oh well... my garage is spic 'n span.

Um... Jack 'n the Box... ew! Public bathroom... ew!

I know, I know; when you've gotta go, you've gotta go.

How considerate of you unless, of course, you think about the fact that ppl trying to eat their lunch had to, um, deal with your deal.