Monday, May 12, 2008

Maybe That's Why We Don't Talk.

While doing my Mother’s Day shopping (for my wife) this week I saw a lot of great gift ideas. I spent a lot of time trying to decide what she would like the most. This is hard to do when there is a 7-year-old girl who wants to go home and play, instead of shopping for mommy with you.

I always try to pick something nicer than what Sherri would normally buy for herself, or something she wouldn’t normally buy for herself. I finally decided on a skirtini and a pair of shoes to match.

While driving home I thought about what I might get for my own mother for Mother’s Day. I don’t really talk to my mom much anymore, so I don’t put the kind of effort that I should into her gift. I know that sounds bad and I have come to realize that maybe some of my previous efforts at her Mother’s Day gifts may have contributed to our lack of communication.

Here are some examples.





I'm sure I saw some of this stuff in her bathroom. So when I saw it at the store I thought, "Hey, mom uses this stuff. I'm sure she would love getting some more for Mother's Day!"







OK, so mom has a little moustache, some sideburns, and ... a beard. No biggy. This Epilady thing takes care of all of that. I think it takes care of armpits, legs, and other hairy spots, if you know what I mean. She haaaad to think this was a great gift. The salesman said it actually feels good when you use it too!




When I was a kid, I KNOW I saw one of these in her bathroom. I remember asking what it was. She said it was a massager. I also remember it was boring looking and white. Now that I'm older and wiser, I thought it would be funny to remind her of that fine mother-son moment with something a little more colorful. I'm sure she was all laughs when the UPS man needed her to sign for the package.

11 comments:

ventl8r said...

Hmmm....YA THINK?!?!?! :-/

Leucantha said...

Can't imagine why you are still alive after that. ; )

Patty O said...

LOL. I have to be honest, I might get disowned if I gave my mother a gift like one of those.

Stacy said...

No you didn't.....What a crack up! I think I would have died had my son gotten me one of those. How would she explain that one to her friends when they asked her what you got her? LOL

Elizabeth said...

Erm... these gifts are nothing if not... erm, thoughtful!

Guinevere said...

LOL Oh my. lol

Oh, and venison??? You're right. I'm never going to live that down! lol

Tammie Jean said...

LOL! That list gift is so intriguing. Just look at all these little love nodules... almost like it was designed to be something more than just a massager...

Malathionman said...

TAMMIE JEAN !!! How the heck are you! I've missed you! I'm not going to ask how you know what LOVE NODULES are. :)

Hyperher said...

Putting the fun back in dysfunction. I like your new song, BTW. It was one of the first songs Lars and I realized reminded us of us.

Stacy said...

I have left comments before. This is mumof3boyz from MSN spaces. Just moving over here to share with the whole family. My other site is still up, but it is private so I can rant about family. LOL

Malathionman said...

Kristi-

What the hell is wrong with your Spaces? Have you been posting porn again?