Monday, October 13, 2008

Malathionman's Horror Holiday Picks

I don’t know why I never did this before, post Malathionman’s Halloween Movie picks! Who better to know about horror than the evil mutant Malathionman?

When I sat down to think about my recommendations it occurred to me that I could categorize this list in many ways. Vampires (Bram Stoker’s Dracula), werewolves (
Dog Soldiers), and chick flicks (Steel Magnolias) are types of horror movies.

I tried to be less specific.

You may have noticed that I have recommended some foreign movies on the sidebar. I like foreign movies. If I can watch an entire movie in subtitles and enjoy it, it has to be a darn good movie. I do not watch the dubbed versions. Here three of my selections.

Ringu (Japan). Ringu was remade in the U.S. as The Ring, which wasn’t a bad movie. Ringu was a little darker, a little creepier, and no blood, just a good scary movie. It is a little dated with that whole videotape thing. Subtitles.

The Orphanage (Spain). This is probably still a new release in most of your video stores. 30 years later, a woman comes back to the orphanage that she once lived at as a young girl. With her husband and adopted son, she wants to run her own orphanage for special needs children. Like Ringu, this movie has no blood; it’s just a really good ghost story. Subtitles.

Dead Alive (New Zealand). Before there was Lord of the Rings, there was Dead Alive. I think this was Peter Jackson’s second feature film. The blood and guts that are missing in the above movies are in this one, 10 fold. This zombie comedy is one of my favorites. One of my favorite scenes is when the zombies come knocking at the church’s door. The local priest answers and decides to take the Lord’s work into his own hands and feet. He then proceeds to kung fu on hordes of zombies exclaiming, “ I kick-ass for the Lord!”
No subtitles, English.

This is my preferred “Halloween” type movie. Dead Alive definitely falls into this category, but it fit nicely into that foreign film slot. I think horror is better if there is some comedy mixed in to take the edge off; it also makes the comedy funnier, even it isn’t that funny.

Evil Dead 2. This is actually a remake of Evil Dead. Evil Dead wasn’t a bad movie, it was just more of a traditional horror movie. Director Sam Raimi remade Evil Dead with laughs in mind. It has lots of blood and gore, and that famous flying eyeball scene. It also has Bruce Campbell; he appears in many of Rami’s films, very funny guy. Check it out; it makes many must see lists for this genre.

Re-Animator. This is not a movie for everyone, but if you like Dead Alive or Evil Dead 2, you’ll probably like this too. It’s just your typical mad scientist movie. Geeky guy discovers a way to bring dead things back to life. Decapitated and reanimated evil doctor’s body walks around carrying his own head so he can kiss the girl he likes. Great

American Werewolf in London. This movie has genuine scares and laughs. The hospital dream sequence scared the you know what out of me. This movie won an Oscar for make up effects. Still one of the best werewolf transformation scenes and baddest looking werewolves to date.

I tried most of those movies above on my kids and I can safely say yours won’t like them. Here are some movies that most elementary age kids won’t get too freaked out by watching.

Ghostbusters. Classic 80’s movie period.

The Monster Squad. A boys club team up with Frankenstein to battle Dracula, Wolfman, the Mummy, and Gill-Man.

Gremlins. More 80’s more fun. I think monster movies were friendlier in the 80’s. Everything today seems to be pretty shocking.

Bleak Future doesn’t make my list recommendations, but you can rent it! I am a member of Blockbuster Online. While looking for something to rent I was shocked to come across Bleak Future. I am even listed in the cast. So if you are feeling brave, check it out and see the Malathionman in action.

Feel free to throw any of your Halloween favorites my way. Chances are I've seen it and have an opinion on it.


Oktober Five said...

My wife's favorite is Hocus Pocus. It's truly on the silly side, but I put up with it. However, this year I'm hoping to find a copy of the Charlie Brown halloween . . . the Great Pumpkin, I think it's called.

Guinevere said...

The Evil Dead with Bruce Campbell had me laughing my head off. He's a riot!!! (Remember Brisco County, Jr.?)

American Werewolf in London scared the you know what out of me too. I saw it in a drive in...which I think made it even scarier...esp. since we were all standing around outside of our cars! lol

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

Unfortunately I can't watch any of those recommendations because I am a big girls blouse and they frighten me.
I sit comfortably in the 'reasonably kid safe' section, although I tried to watch Ghostbusters with my son and he almost hit the ceiling when that lady ghost freaks out in the library right at the begining!

Oh and Pan's Labrynth - utterly brilliant film (although, again, I had to watch through my fingers).

Miranda said...

I actually took a horror film class in college that was AWESOME. We watched a movie every week and then talked about the plot, camera angles, subtext, etc and had very few assignments. We watched Ringu in that class and I have to say I really didn't like it. There were a few parts that just had me going "Oh, COME ON!" (like when they lift water out of the well using buckets....ugh, can't tell you how much that scene pained me.)

Patty O said...

I've heard rumors that they want to get the cast of Ghostbusters back together for a sequel. Just a rumor now though.

Malathionman said...

O5- Hey, thanks for stopping by! I think you are looking for "Its the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."

I used to play tennis with Charles Schultz's daughter-in-law. She gave me a bunch his drawings that were laying around her house.

G- I dooo remember Brisco County Jr. Did you see Army of Darkness?

Tara- You should like The Orphanage then. It is pretty tame by my standards.

Miranda- "Oh, COME ON!" You probably said that when ET made the bike fly too. :)

Patty O- I hope those are just rumors.

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

Oh god no, they cannot remake Ghostbusters! Heathens, the lot of them. How can you improve on 80s perfection?

Malathionman said...

Tara- "How can you improve on 80s perfection?"

With Vanilla Ice?