I don’t know why I never did this before, post Malathionman’s Halloween Movie picks! Who better to know about horror than the evil mutant Malathionman?
When I sat down to think about my recommendations it occurred to me that I could categorize this list in many ways. Vampires (Bram Stoker’s Dracula), werewolves (Dog Soldiers), and chick flicks (Steel Magnolias) are types of horror movies.
I tried to be less specific.
You may have noticed that I have recommended some foreign movies on the sidebar. I like foreign movies. If I can watch an entire movie in subtitles and enjoy it, it has to be a darn good movie. I do not watch the dubbed versions. Here three of my selections.
Ringu (Japan). Ringu was remade in the U.S. as The Ring, which wasn’t a bad movie. Ringu was a little darker, a little creepier, and no blood, just a good scary movie. It is a little dated with that whole videotape thing. Subtitles.
The Orphanage (Spain). This is probably still a new release in most of your video stores. 30 years later, a woman comes back to the orphanage that she once lived at as a young girl. With her husband and adopted son, she wants to run her own orphanage for special needs children. Like Ringu, this movie has no blood; it’s just a really good ghost story. Subtitles.
Dead Alive (New Zealand). Before there was Lord of the Rings, there was Dead Alive. I think this was Peter Jackson’s second feature film. The blood and guts that are missing in the above movies are in this one, 10 fold. This zombie comedy is one of my favorites. One of my favorite scenes is when the zombies come knocking at the church’s door. The local priest answers and decides to take the Lord’s work into his own hands and feet. He then proceeds to kung fu on hordes of zombies exclaiming, “ I kick-ass for the Lord!”
No subtitles, English.
This is my preferred “Halloween” type movie. Dead Alive definitely falls into this category, but it fit nicely into that foreign film slot. I think horror is better if there is some comedy mixed in to take the edge off; it also makes the comedy funnier, even it isn’t that funny.
Evil Dead 2. This is actually a remake of Evil Dead. Evil Dead wasn’t a bad movie, it was just more of a traditional horror movie. Director Sam Raimi remade Evil Dead with laughs in mind. It has lots of blood and gore, and that famous flying eyeball scene. It also has Bruce Campbell; he appears in many of Rami’s films, very funny guy. Check it out; it makes many must see lists for this genre.
Re-Animator. This is not a movie for everyone, but if you like Dead Alive or Evil Dead 2, you’ll probably like this too. It’s just your typical mad scientist movie. Geeky guy discovers a way to bring dead things back to life. Decapitated and reanimated evil doctor’s body walks around carrying his own head so he can kiss the girl he likes. Great
American Werewolf in London. This movie has genuine scares and laughs. The hospital dream sequence scared the you know what out of me. This movie won an Oscar for make up effects. Still one of the best werewolf transformation scenes and baddest looking werewolves to date.
REASONABLY KID SAFE
I tried most of those movies above on my kids and I can safely say yours won’t like them. Here are some movies that most elementary age kids won’t get too freaked out by watching.
Ghostbusters. Classic 80’s movie period.
The Monster Squad. A boys club team up with Frankenstein to battle Dracula, Wolfman, the Mummy, and Gill-Man.
Gremlins. More 80’s more fun. I think monster movies were friendlier in the 80’s. Everything today seems to be pretty shocking.
Unfortunately Bleak Future doesn’t make my list recommendations, but you can rent it! I am a member of Blockbuster Online. While looking for something to rent I was shocked to come across Bleak Future. I am even listed in the cast. So if you are feeling brave, check it out and see the Malathionman in action.
Feel free to throw any of your Halloween favorites my way. Chances are I've seen it and have an opinion on it.