Thursday, June 14, 2007

We Are Family!

I think dinner is a great time for families to spend time together. My family sits down at the kitchen table almost every night for dinner. When I was a kid, more often than not, I ate dinner in the living room, in front of the T.V. Sometimes my mom would join me, my dad was never home and my sister was busy screwing up her teenage life. I didn’t plan on fixing that when I became a parent, we just started doing it from the first day the older kids came into the house and it stuck.

Dinnertime has produced some fine stories that will be used as ammunition against my children at a later date.

An annoying fly is buzzing around the table.
Wife, “Aw man who let the fly in the house?”
Austin grabs the fly swatter, “I’ll get it!”
Austin tries, but misses badly each time, “Daaannngg, that fly jacked me off!”
Trying not to choke on my Costco Chicken Alfredo, “Excuse me?”
“That fly jacked me off!”
“Where did you hear that phrase Austin?”
“School.”
“Don’t you mean jacked up?”
“Maybe.”
“Austin, jacking off is a bad way to say you are touching your private parts.”
I smile at Sherri and roll my eyes.
“Oh yeah mom, you mean like that time you walked in on me in my room!”
“What?’
“OMG”
Alissa chimes in, “Austin was jacking off!”
“What? We are all family. Right?”
Heavy sigh, “Yes Austin, yes we are.”

8 comments:

VENTL8R said...

Times like that I'm glad I'll have two girls!!

BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ms Smack said...

haaaaaaaaa funny story!

Herself said...

I remember asking my father what sodomy was at a family gathering. I was about 12. Oops.

Chris said...

Yeah, I think I'd go back to TV trays after that :)

Anonymous said...

Sounds like an awkward moment, but on the other hand, he sounds really well-adjusted.

Natalie said...

hahahaha! Kids say the darndest things... and totally mean it.
I agree about dinnertime. We do the same thing. That's where all the funny conversations come from: hamburger helper.
This was danged funny!

Aynde said...

About a year and a half ago I had a VERY similar conversation with my son. He was looking at the prices of cars in a newpaper and and exclaimed "what a jack off!"

I think he meant it as what a "rip off" but I had to explain the other meaning. He turned 30 shades of red.

We're in full puberty swing now and it's been a non-stop adventure of embarrasing conversations. *laughs*

Queen of Dysfunction said...

You realize that you really do need to write a book, right? It would make the rest of us feel a lot better about our own kids, ahem, abnormal outbursts. ;)