Bird X

Today my wife got her shot in front of the camera. She didn’t want to do the news interview, but the reporter begged. It wasn’t the thought of being on the 11 o’clock news that bothered her; it was the 2 o’clock hair and make up. She called me later in the day to tell me about the interview.

“Hey guess what, I’m going to be on the news.”
“Why? Did you snap on one of your customers?”
“Nnnoooo. We talked about bird x.”
“Bird X? What the … oh I know, is Bird X some militant pigeon that craps on everyone’s car? Or maybe Bird X is the pet of Racer X; that would be really cool. Speed Racer was OK, but Racer X was cool. I could see some sort of hawk with the same mask as Rex Racer…”
“Excrement.”
“What?”
“ The interview was about bird excrement.”
“Your first appearance on TV is all about bird shit?”
“It’s a big problem here at The Gardens. Tenants pay a lot of money to have the poop cleaned off their store fronts.”
“Why are they interviewing you about it?”
"The Gardens just installed some sort of sonic bird repeller. It’s basically a way of getting rid of the birds without killing them. I’m a store manager here and they wanted my take on the new gadget.”
“What if the sonic noise drives the birds crazy and they start to attack?”
“Why do I bother?”
“That would be cool.”