Tuesday, May 8, 2007

He's Grrrrreat!

There is this guy at work. We will call him Tony. My buddy Nelson and I have a lot of fun at his expense.

Tony is single and likes to brag about his sexual escapades. He thinks the married guys don’t get any. He is so wrong to assume that. It’s when you have kids that you don’t get any.

Nelson and I both thought Tony was gay the first time each of us met him. Hearing the stories about all the different women he takes to bed seems a little hard to believe, especially when its coming from a guy that reminds me of that dude on Grey’s Anatomy.

Well I guess Tony is trying to be more like old married guys. He is now looking for the perfect mate. Tony is going to do that by signing up on Match.com. Sharing that information with the guys was probably not the smartest thing to do. Showing us his site was even dumber.

It was fascinating checking out all the singles in the area that met Tony’s criteria. I believe it was something really tough, like between the age of 24 and 31 and good looking. I’m not sure he is getting his $3000 worth if that’s all he is going to require of his possible “perfect match”. Also, you got to wonder about someone who is going to be interested in a guy who wants to be called “tiger”. Nelson and I saw that nickname on his profile and could hardly contain the laughter.

If you decided that you needed help to find the perfect match, would you tell your friends that you spent $3000 on a service like Match.com? Hell, you could get a lot of fun dates for $3000.

15 comments:

Leucantha` said...

Match.com costs 3K, that is crazy. Oh vey, does he know what he had done? Never ever show vulnerablity with scapers, they are rough. Poor dude, he will never live it down.

Guinevere said...

Tiger???

ROFLOL Oh my...let me catch my breath!!!

I wish him luck with that one.

Anonymous said...

He could have some damn good dates for 3000.00. Por guy or should I say Poor Tiger.

Just stopped by to say Hi, hope everyone is doing well.

Normal Everyday Life...

Herself said...

He's so lying! I think it costs about $60 bucks, and I know this because I met my husband on Match.com. My experience with it was being contacted by a lot of guys who don't actually read profiles, and so are wildly inappropriate and scary. I lucked out.

Tammie Jean said...

Hey, I met my husband on Match.com too! And it didn't cost 3 grand, or I would still be single.
I will admit that the nickname "tiger" might make me roll my eyes and go on to the next profile. Save that for the second date or something ;)

Malathionman said...

I thought that 3k sounded crazy. Those guys must still be making a fortune at $60.00 a pop. There were tons of people just in the 20 mile area he selected.

That is so funny, like 20% of my readers used Match.com. Was it the Dr. Phil endorsement?

I think its a different set of rules for the girls too. They can share that sort of info (that they use Match.com) and not get teased by thier friends, or am I mistaken? Guys are brutal when it comes to that kind of stuff.

Herself said...

I lied about my address because I lived in a very small town. I also work in a public place and was scared I might meet them inadvertantly. I never told my friends I was doing the internet dating thing, out of embarassment and also the thrill of being incognito. My Match experience was prior to Dr. P's involvement.

Queen of Dysfunction said...

How can you post this and then not include a link to the guy's bio?

I know, I know, you don't want to be too cruel. But still. Anyone who wants to be called Tiger is kinda askin' for it.

Malathionman said...

QofD-I don't think I would ever want to be on your shit list.

Malathionman said...

QofD- I like the song on your "My Space".

Travis said...

I can think of a lot of fun dates that I could have for $3k...

and all of them start and end at The Bunny Ranch.

Malathionman said...

Travis- That's funny you mention that. He asked me later in the week how much I thought an escort would cost per hour.

Travis said...

I can recommend one that cost about $400 but is apparently well worth it.

Malathionman said...

Travis- Isn't that more than what Julia Roberts cost in Pretty Woman?
Think J.R. is worth $400 an hour?
Sounds like a blog entry. QofD-$500 dollars an hour, she has swimmer's muscles.

Ms Smack said...

wow - thats alot of money. He could have just downloaded a personality for a lot less!