Monday, January 22, 2007

Meager Attempt

About 1:30 Saturday afternoon I was driving to my in-law's house, with tears in my eyes. I had got a call from Sherri telling me that her mother no longer wanted to be left alone with John because she didn’t think he had that much time left. This had come on real quick, I was there last week watching football with him and he seemed ok, we had a good time. He was sitting up, talking, and things weren’t that much different than the last 3 months.

I had a good idea what I was going to see when I got there because of my father’s death from cancer. This would be no different for me now. I consider John my father just as much as my birth father. He has always treated me like his son, and I believe he loves me like his son. I love John like my father. This visit was going to be tough.

Just immediate family was there, Mary (wife), Sherri and Shelly (daughters), and Phil and myself (son-in-laws). No kids were there.

Seeing John was like seeing my father a few weeks before his death. Up until now you could talk to John and he could talk back. He no longer has the strength to do so. He will fade in and out of consciousness and occasionally whisper a word or two. This was very hard to see, I had to leave the room a couple of times to recompose myself.

We decided that Sherri would spend the night with Mary. I would go and pick up the kids from the babysitter’s, then take them home. We would then come back in the morning to see how things were.

I now have to pull it all together and try to say good night to John. I stood over him with tears in my eyes, but couldn’t speak. I bent over and hugged him and kissed him on the forehead. As I started back up I could hear him softly say, “good-bye buddy.” I smiled and squeezed his hand, and went home to pick up the kids.

Sunday morning I got the call from Sherri. It was over; John had passed away in his sleep.

Everyone seems to be doing ok. Even though we knew this day was coming, it still hurts when it actually happens. John touch the lives of many people, he was a father to more than just me and his immediate family. My meager attempts at writing can’t truly describe how much John will be missed.


Aynde said...

Oh.... You made me laugh with you comment on my blog...I come over here and have tears in my eyes.

Bless you. I am thinking of you.

Take Care.


Miranda said...

I'm very sorry to hear of your father's passing (the "in-law" part is trivial). It's nice to hear you at least got that final time together, and that he was aware enough to say good bye. All my best to you and your family.

Leucantha` said...

I am so sorry for your family's loss. I'll pray for you guys this week.

I have been entertained all week with your funny comments on everyone's sites. My favorite was on skurmush's.

Thanks for your encouraging words on mine.

Mominator said...

You said it beautifully. I cried reading it. I know how you felt about John from earlier posts. I'm so sorry Tom to hear about your loss. I'm sorry I didn't get by until today. Please know you and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers (as always). You have an angel in heaven now working overtime!


Mocha said...

I can't possibly cry with you wearing that damn Malathion Man costume. Take it off and let me give you a big old bear hug.

(Put something else on in it's place, please. Jeans and a t-shirt would be nice.)

Natalie said...

My sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved John. I am so glad to read that you had the chance to hug him and say your final goodbye and how cool is it that he heard you... in that final and touching moment.
Hugs and special thoughts headed your way...
Take care, my friend.

Chris said...

Don't know whether you'll see this or not. Sorry I'm late on this. My sincerest condolences on your family's loss. This had to be a rough week. And I don't think your attempt was so meager. Very touching, actually.

I'll be praying for you and yours, my friend.

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